VITAL VIRUS
Q Oblivion feels less like a set of songs and more like one continuous emotional document. When you were writing the lyrics, did you consciously think of the album as a single psychological journey?
-I did have the thought of a concept album dealing with these certain thoughts, emotions and experiences regarding certain events in mind, yes. But at the same time I did not quite realise how well it all actually fit together until it was finished. While living in this illusion of a creative enlightenment, I was really just trying to make sense of my emotions to myself and keeping my head above water.
Q A lot of the lyrics blur the line between desire and self-destruction. How do you personally understand that connection, and was it difficult to be that explicit with it?
-When I really want something or someone, I have a tendency to pursue it until I break in some way or level. Not seeing my own downfall until the damage is done. And it is interesting to me how blind one can be regarding this, while being in it, despite being aware of this issue. While writing and recording the vocals for Oblivion, I was conflicted with “do I even want people to hear this?” and that it felt weird to speak some emotions out loud. But I also knew I had to, because I wanted this album to be true.
Q Throughout the album, pain often seems to function as a form of intimacy. Do you see that as something you were questioning, confessing, or simply observing in yourself?
-I’d say I was mostly observing it. Realizing I had this conflict inside me and then also questioning why that was. How did I end up like this? What is wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this?
Q Identity feels fractured across Oblivion, with opposing impulses constantly colliding. Did writing these lyrics help you make sense of those inner contradictions, or did it mostly expose them?
-Though it was a process of understanding myself and my world view it mostly exposed them, initially. While the project matured though, my own words started to sink in and I realised new aspects of what story they were telling.
Q Memory plays a huge role in the album, especially the idea that the past keeps bleeding into the present. How do you decide which memories deserve a voice in your writing?
-Regarding the writing of this album, I was focused on certain memories because they were directly tied to certain happenings. Basically I listened to the memories that hurt the most and let those speak for themself. Sometimes in a way that I perceive as fact and sometimes in a way that I am aware of was a twisted emotional-infused view of reality.
Q There’s a strong sense of self-awareness in the lyrics, but not necessarily self-forgiveness. Was that lack of resolution intentional?
-I haven’t yet found that resolution myself unfortunately, so I could not pretend to have. Whatever glimpse of resolution that was hinted in certain parts of Oblivion was me just starting to find pieces of it. So yes, I guess it was intentional in some way.
Q Many listeners might find the album confrontational or uncomfortable. How important is discomfort to you as a tool for honesty in your lyrics?
-I am not interested in shock for shock’s sake. If my music seems to try to awake discomfort then that is because that is how I feel and I only want to make music that is true to myself. If someone doesn’t like it then fine, there’s other music waiting for you.
Q Oblivion often rejects clean ideas of healing or redemption. Do you think music needs to offer hope, or can truth exist without it?
-I don’t think art in any form needs to offer us anything. I don’t think any art has any obligations to us at all. I don’t think we create art, we discover it (not to sound like a pretentious fucking asshole, but that’s how I like to think about art…). If music needs to be a sonic illustration of the deepest pits of despair and agony to be true, then so be it. And if it needs to portray a guiding light of hope to be true, then that is what it shall do.
Q The theme of control slowly gives way to exhaustion as the album progresses. Did that shift reflect how the writing process affected you over time?
-This is an interesting question and I am kind of caught off guard since it’s not something I have really thought about. But producing this album was definitely a draining process and I still feel kind of empty, even though some of the memories and emotions are just as raging and vivid today. But I don’t think it changed my writing process, no. Sorry I can’t give a better answer than that.
Q There’s a recurring sense of dependence in the lyrics, even when that dependence is harmful. What made you want to explore that cycle so deeply?
-I just wanted to understand myself and the events leading up to these lyrics. I think I have always had this desire to make sense of and understand everything.
Q At the end of the album, defeat feels more like release than despair. What does oblivion mean to you on a personal level?
-To me in the context of the album, the word “oblivion” is about forgetting and perishing. Reaching a state of acceptance of the truth, the pain and then embracing its relief while saying goodbye to your former self.
Q Do you see Oblivion as a closed chapter, or does it still feel unfinished to you?
-Well… Meanwhile Oblivion as an album is a closed chapter, I am not done with my processing. And I might have plans for future work that is connected in one way or another.
Q Has releasing this album changed how you approach vulnerability in your everyday life?
-Not much actually. Though as soon as this album was out I suddenly got a lot of “are you ok?”-type comments by people in my surroundings that usually don’t ask that, which felt kinda weird sometimes. I am usually quite open to vulnerability to a certain extent, but all of a sudden I have opened this box of transparency and I now have to avoid talking about it a second time. Uncomfortable.
Q Looking forward, do you feel a need to move away from this emotional space, or do you think it will always be part of Vital Virus’s lyrical identity?
-Right now I don’t have any plans of changing the creative focus of Vital Virus. As long as it is true for me, it will be possible for Vital Virus to write about it and expressing myself through that lens. I hope I won’t have to feel like that again though…
