RYAN FOX
Q Can you tell me what inspired the lyrics of “I Can’t Make You Stay”?
My ex.
Q The song feels very honest and direct. Was that your main goal when writing it?
Yeah I’ve written a fair few breakup songs but this one felt the most honest to date. I kept it simple. With a lot of time since the breakup I can express my feelings on the whole situation with greater clarity now. I’m glad that came across.
Q Was there a particular moment or experience that made you write about loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way?
Yeah, having gone through and experienced those feelings of helplessness myself.
Q The repeated line “I can’t make you stay” is very powerful. Did it come naturally, or did you work on finding the right phrasing?
Sometimes it’s possible to over-write, I’ve done it loads! But I’ve found over time that Sondheim was right in that less is indeed more. I didn’t overthink it.
Q How do you feel about the contrast in the lyrics between romantic gestures and the reality of heartbreak?
It kinda made the song a bit easier to write once I created that structure. I’m an old romantic at heart so those lines came fairly easily. Whereas for the heartbreak stuff I had to force myself a bit to open up. That’s easier to do in a song than in real life for me, bizarre as it may sound.
Q Did you think about how listeners might connect with the feelings of helplessness expressed in the song?
I try not to think about how a listener might connect, otherwise you risk playing to the gallery. I just try to tell it how I see it and hope/trust that that is enough for the song to hit home elsewhere.
Q Was it difficult to write lyrics that show both effort in love and the acceptance of loss?
Yeah it’s taken me a long while to write so openly about that sort of rejection, as by its very nature it’s so personal. I couldn’t have written it ten years ago. Five even.
Q Did you focus on storytelling or more on conveying pure emotion when writing this song?
This song definitely emotion.
Q The song avoids clichés about heartbreak. Was that intentional from the start?
Kind of yeah so that’s great you found that. I’m self-aware enough to hopefully realise when I’ve written a cliché so they don’t make it through the QA process so much nowadays!
Q Did writing this song help you process any personal experiences with love or loss?
Thankfully I got over the subject of the song many moons ago so not so much if I’m honest. But my subconscious would probably suggest otherwise seeing as I’m still banging on about it today!
Q Do you see this song as a message to someone specific, or more as a universal story of love and heartbreak?
It was directly inspired by my own experiences but since its release and getting some lovely feedback it’s been nice to see it progress to something more universal.
Q Did the process of writing the song change the way you think about love or relationships?
I’d say it’s crystallised for me the fact that sometimes in life you just have to hold your hands up and say that, despite your best efforts, there’s nothing you can do to make somebody love you back.
Q What’s the main feeling or takeaway you hope listeners get from “I Can’t Make You Stay”?
You are not the first and won’t be the last to feel the absence of agency in love. But that’s ok.
