PLATITUDES
Q: Your track “Steel Umbrella” tells us a lot about protective emotional issues. What drove you to the concept of the steel umbrella as metaphor?
A: I’m not 100% where the idea came from, but I wanted something non-specific – a generic protection against general feelings of apathy and despair so that the song could apply to many situations.
Q: In the song, there is such a dramatic contrast between day and night. How do the shifts relate to your own personal issues or experiences?
A: I regarded my bed as a refuge. In the depths of my depression I would try to avoid seeing other people, I wouldn’t make plans, I looked forward to the moment when I could retreat to my bed and be alone.
Q: The struggle between your true self and the you that others want you to be is something that many people can relate to. Is this always something that you’ve wanted to explore in your music?
A: No. Although I have written lots of songs over the years, I always shied away from anything personal or too serious. In the past I felt like there were already too many deep and meaningful song in the world, and that they often come across as self-absorbed. However when my 18 year old son died I felt a strong compulsion to explore and express the emotional upheaval I was struggling with.
Q: The steel umbrella seems to protect you from “the world raining down on me.” What do you see as the biggest “rain” in life for which we need protection?
A: The rain in this song is a symptom not a cause, a reflection of how we can start to perceive the world when we’re struggling mentally. It is meant to be a vague description so that hopefully any listener can identify with the sentiment.
Q: How do you feel when you’re at the point where you can no longer “hold it” anymore? Do you think reaching that breaking point is necessary for self-growth?
A: Hmmm – breaking points aren’t pleasant so I wouldn’t wish them on people, but I do feel that I have grown as a result of the ones that I have faced. I don’t think they are necessary however. It’s easy for me to identify and label the ways in which I have grown as a result of reaching crisis points, but I’m sure there are lots of other, (probably more long-winded and less dramatic) ways in which people can also earn wisdom eg by reading widely!
Q: There’s a balance between vulnerability and strength in your music. Is this also true for your way of life?
A: I’m not sure what you mean by this question. I would say that its normal to feel some level of vulnerability and healthy to express it to others. I’ve noticed that a lot of people seem to believe that I’m stronger than I feel. I think people should dial down how strong they think other people are and try to be more forgiving, understanding and patient. Having said that, there are those people in the world who genuinely don’t feel vulnerable and can take advantage of your compassion. Life isn’t straightforward!
Q: The song alludes to the concept of “hardening.” Is that something one learns while enduring challenge, or do individuals create it as a coping mechanism through time?
A: In the song ‘hardening’ is the same as putting up the steel umbrella – they are both metaphors for how, in the depths of my depression, I would gather myself emotionally each morning in order to get out of bed and face the world. Coping mechanisms can be useful if they help you function, but they are placebos and don’t help you resolve the causes of your depression.
Q: There’s that sense of adapting in the song, especially with the line of looking like any other man. Do you think we all have to adapt to the things around us in order to fit in, or do we learn to do so in order to survive?
A: This line was intended to reflect the feeling that nobody around me could sense my inner turmoil. It seemed crazy to me that people couldn’t easily see that I was inhabiting a different world to them, that my mental struggle wasn’t written all over my face.
We’re social creatures so adapting to the people around us is normal and healthy. Although in the song I make out that I’m not like other people, this is an expression of how isolating depression can make you feel. In fact I’m not different to other people because everybody has their burdens to bear, and I was usually able to carry out normal functions like going to work, despite my anguish.
Q: Is there one specific time or experience in your life that literally shaped the way you think of emotional resilience or the need to be protected?
A: Yes, when my 18 year old son died suddenly.
Q: Using the concept of “assumed human form” in the lyrics evokes this pressure to conform. How do you circumvent those pressures, specifically as an artist?
A: ‘To conform’ suggests a conscious act. I think we all conform sub-consciously to an extraordinary degree. I don’t think any artists or musicians don’t conform. It’s great when a piece of art allows us to glimpse life from a new perspective, but unless that work of art already conforms to established norms (eg language and culture) the message would be unintelligible. People who believe that they aren’t conforming, that they have made a conscious decision not to, are missing a bigger truth that, because they have been shaped by the environment they were born into, conformity is inescapable. Their values (even the value of not being a ‘sheep’) are inherited from somewhere. Everyone is always conforming to some extrinsic ideal. I would categorise artists as something more like innovative communicators.
Q: Do you feel that we can ever rid ourselves of the protective “steel umbrella” entirely or do you think that we all have to have it in some form in order to be able to survive the world?
A: I would say it’s best not to need a ‘steel umbrella’ at all. Ideally the world shouldn’t fill you with fear. If you do need a ‘steel umbrella’ you should wait until the world has stopped ‘raining down’ on you and then throw it away!
Q: You say that it’s hard to keep up the strength and protection. Do you think that this song does reflect an internal struggle with burnout or emotional exhaustion?
A: Yes. Although the song might be taken to mean that needing a ‘steel umbrella’ is a bad thing, because you have presumably experienced some form of trauma. In fact, being able to put up your ‘steel umbrella’ is a good sign. You’re in real trouble when you’re not able to find some kind of coping mechanism that allows you to continue going to work, or cook meals, or interact with other people despite feeling numb. When you can’t find the strength to put up your ‘steel umbrella’.
Q: What would you hope that listeners will get out of “Steel Umbrella”? Is there something that you particularly want to leave them with or convey?
A: I hope listeners can connect with the song, and that it makes them feel less alone if so, and also that sharing or connection is helpful. They might then feel enabled to share their feelings with someone, if they haven’t already.
Q: Reflecting on the work of “Steel Umbrella,” do you think it marks a turning point or a development in your music and your life?
A: ‘Steel Umbrella’ was a move away from the guitar for me. I imagine most songs are written on guitar or keyboard, ideas for melody and theme are gradually fleshed out with chords and structure. Most often the instrument used to compose the song remains in the finished song. But in this case I’m proud the finished song sounds far less like ‘one man and his guitar’ than most of my other songs! We recorded and produced the song at home before having it mixed and mastered professionally, but I don’t think the finished track sounds like a home production at all!
Q: Finally, if the steel umbrella existed as a real object, what would you wish it to appear or symbolize in the real world?
A: Haha – well I hope it wouldn’t be very big! My steel umbrella is for one person, and it’s up to them to find the strength to put it up! Maybe it would be like one of those unfolding pocket umbrellas but with a foil lining to prevent CIA rays from space-invading your brain!
