LAUGHING CATS
Q: What inspired you to write “Jerk,” and what emotions did you try to convey in the songwriting process?
I was first inspired after watching a guy I once knew pining to be in the good graces of his wife again. But then I wrote it from my own space, because all of us have made mistakes, and being a truly evolved human is having the ability to own up to your transgressions, and change your habits.
Q: The song feels really personal. Was it difficult for you to be so public about your mistakes?
I am a very transparent person, and I love to be honest about my faults, probably to a fault. What is challenging is singing the verses live. They are very vulnerable, so I have to strengthen the muscle of live emotive singing. Though, the chorus is always fun to sing.
Q: Some of the cold and distant imagery in the lyrics is particularly striking. Can you talk a little about what those metaphors mean to you?
If you’ve never been kicked out by your partner, then it’s hard to understand this feeling I guess. I have. It’s a very isolating feeling and nothing can warm your bones. But a human has two choices: fix yourself, or blame others and never learn.
Q: “I need to light my own fire” is such a powerful line. What does that metaphor symbolize in your journey?
It symbolizes so much. We live in a society that is trying very hard to make humans less self-reliant. I fear it is translating into our personal lives. Being your best self can only ever come from self-reliance. It’s the only way you can really be dependable to someone else.
Q: How do you hope listeners relate to the themes of accountability and self-reflection in “Jerk”?
I really hope people can relate. So often if we mess up, we can be bogged down by shame and regret. Those feelings are toxic. It’s ok to have them for a little bit, but then you need to supercharge your soul and be your own superhero to your supervillain.
Q: Was there a specific moment or experience that inspired you to take responsibility for your actions, as described in the song?
My parents taught me to always be honest with myself and take responsibility. I can think of countless times in my life that this song applies!!! Sometimes we are a jerk to ourselves! I mostly relate to that. But I also have a family, and there is no getting around any of us not being guilty at times of being a jerk in family situations.
Q: Do you think publicly proclaiming our faults, like you did within the song, encourages others to do so themselves?
I certainly hope so. It would make me very happy if enough people heard this song and it caused them to look at behavior they may have been ignoring or projecting onto others. I do believe that our society has become much less interested in a mainstream understanding of personal accountability, and I want that to shift, very much.
Q: How does creating a song like “Jerk” help you grow as an artist and as a person?
Well, with every creation, you try your best to put your whole body, mind and spirit into the work at hand. I give everything I can to my instincts and my urges which come from the artistic cauldron. Every new song is a start at the base. I always hope to give my everything every time. And I hope that it makes me a stronger, wiser artist.
Q: The chorus demands better from oneself. How are you preparing for self-improvement in real life?
Nice question. I’m a mother, and so my most important goal is to constantly improve as a parent. I am constantly striving to find the best way to teach, guide, love, discipline, love more. And yes, I’ve been a jerk as a parent. Anyone who hasn’t is either lying to themselves or not willing to reveal their soul enough to make mistakes, which in and of itself is a mistake. The greatest love is striving to do better for yourself and others, especially your children.
Q: Did you find it difficult to balance the pain of the relationship’s struggles with the hopeful tone of making things right?
I found the character of this song quickly. At first, I wrote it for Matt Shultz from Cage the Elephant, as the imagined singer, in my wildest dreams. And I eventually found my own voice in it, and hope that it continues to be discovered in live performance.
Q: The song is highly based on regret. Do you think regret is constructive or just a stepping stone toward personal growth?
Funny since I had mentioned that above. I would say the song is indeed wallowing in the muck and myre of shame and regret in the verses, like a sad clown. But then the chorus is exactly what you have to do in life: snap out of it and make a change.
Q: How do you hope “Jerk” impacts listeners who might be going through similar struggles in their relationships?
Well that would be a spiritual accomplishment, to reach others through music as the liaison. I hope they cry sometimes when they listen to it, just I like I cry sometimes when I hear it. It’s cathartic for me and I hope it is for them, too.
Q: How do you feel Tony Fredianelli’s composition contributed to setting the emotional tone for the lyrics?
Great question. We started Jerk a different way and it was good but it was not there yet. Then one day Tony brought me a re-imagined “Jerk”, basically what you hear now. I helped flesh it out. I added a lot of percussive details myself- but the main beat you hear comes from one of our drummers, Máté Jancsovics. He’s on another one of our upcoming songs, “Cool Hand Lucy”. I really love his work and he is an honorary Laughing Cat, as is Vinnie Castaldo, our sound engineer and also one of our drummers on a few songs.
Q: I love how brutally honest “I’ve been such a jerk” is. How was it to word your reflections of yourself so bluntly?
It is so freeing. It’s the most fun part of the song for me, to be that brutally honest. It’s a weight lifted!
Q: How has writing “Jerk” skewed the way you think about yourself now, or old relationships?
I always want to be the best version of myself. Having written an anthem of self-reflection has made my consciousness very aware on a daily, minute basis of where I want to be. It’s been quite elevating.
Q: Do you feel that working through our mistakes is the way to strengthen relationships in the long term?
Yes! That said, what if you are partnered with a malignant narcissist, or someone who has borderline personality disorder? What if THEY always blame you and you naturally take the blame? That pattern can happen. And maybe you’ve been a jerk to yourself by not being brave enough to get out of that relationship! We all must reflect, and if someone can’t do that, why are you still with them?
Q: What are some tips that you could give to someone struggling to admit their own fault in a relationship?
Aww, that makes me sad to think! Always remember that you are doing it for YOURSELF first. Everyone around you will receive the butterfly effect of whether you take personal responsibility or continue to escape. Everyone will feel the rewards, or consequences. So do it for yourself! And that good feeling will make the open admittance to others a lot easier.
Q: At any point during the creative process, did you doubt such a truthful song would resonate with others?
I didn’t really consider how the public would hear it. I just stayed in my own world about it. I hope it travels through the sound waves and that even more people find the song and are moved by it. I can’t think of anything more rewarding than that.
Q: How does “Jerk” fit into the broader themes or messages of your music as a whole?
Hmm… I write about all kinds of things. You’ll see in our next release: “Electrick”. I think the overall theme though, of all my lyrics, is transparency.
Q: Do you feel like society makes it hard for people to be open about their mistakes, and in that way is this some kind of counter to that idea with this song?
Yes I do. As I stated above, the mainstream pop culture has chosen to lean heavily in the direction of dependence on a large entity to provide for us, rather than being self-made and not wanting such a giant conglomerate overlord who tells us it knows best- pointing fingers at the rest who don’t want to be oppressed. Everybody on earth right now needs to take a good look in the mirror and say, “what have I been doing?”. Everybody.
Q: If you could talk to your old self, you know, the one “used to be such a jerk,” what would you tell her?
I think there’s a time and place for everything. I wouldn’t want to change the space/time continuum. I am where I am because I was where I was. I am only so grateful that I was raised by parents who taught me right, and I hope I can do the same. Making mistakes is part of life. Whenever you decide to own up to it, that’s the moment rewards start to happen!
