JAMES PERCIVAL
Q What was the experience or moment that prompted the concept for Curtains Closed?
My sister had been dealing with fatigue from Long Covid for a while but suddenly ten months in, I was told things had gotten worse: Chronic Fatigue was taking over her life, demanding all the help close family could give.
Q The track is so intimate—did it require a great deal of effort to write lyrics that feel this emotionally bare?
The need to write this song was pretty overwhelming. It was one of those incredible moments where many of the lyrics came so easily because sections like the chorus were an outpouring. Yet it was also a matter of processing pain and shock, and digging into that so yes, a bittersweet writing experience.
Q How did you find the right words to express something as somber as loss without making it too melodramatic?
Some of this may just be my personality that I prefer to be understated and minimalist. The idea of making more of it than it was, never crossed my mind. The situation is quite extreme anyway so I don’t know if that is possible. One intentional songwriting technique I did use was to simply describe the room, focusing on the senses, inspired by some of my favourite lyrics from ‘Here’s To Moving On’ by Dashboard Confessional.
Q How do you achieve balance between storytelling and expressing feeling in writing something so intimate to you?
Given the context, I knew the feelings would be communicated if I could get them across in a raw and succinct way. Whereas the storytelling side was less planned and more natural as I was simply trying to paint the scene vividly enough for the listener to be able to place themselves into the story with as little effort as possible. I guess I kind of relaxed into some cliché songwriting norms such as using verse one to introduce and describe, the chorus to say what is really on your heart, verse two to take verse one further and add more detail, and so on. It’s just one way of writing a song, but in this case it worked.
Q When you’re singing about wanting to trade your health for another person’s, it’s so intense—how did that come into being?
It is as simple as being the truth, but it took a while to put that feeling into words. Sure, I could have used metaphor or more poetic language, but this song is not about showing off or being metaphorical. It is about saying what you really feel. There is usually a lot of silence surrounding these situations, often rightly so because there just aren’t the words for it. But while the EP does reach that wordless moment by track four and five, sometimes before we reach track five we need to go through track one: a time of figuring out what it is we are feeling and acknowledging it.
Q How did your experience with loss or fear shape the tone of the song?
It certainly gave the music extra weight. Sometimes pop songs work well to create a juxtaposition between upbeat music and downbeat lyrics. However, for whatever reason, I did not feel that was right for this song. The tone needed to be full of longing, sadness, despair and pain, without being a dirge. It also needed to feel authentic. I hope I managed that. I think some of the guitar work and found sounds help lift it in verse two to balance the warmth of nostalgia with the cold distance between those memories and present reality.
Q Was reliving those feelings hard to do during the recording process?
I think the consequence of living too far away to really help the difficult situation means that, as much as I would prefer to be close at hand to help, I was not close enough to the gritty reality of it all to be unable to relive words and feelings I had composed. The distance probably allowed me to process it all more easily. That is why my song is meant as an optional invitation and nothing more, because people who are deep in the thick of these situations everyday may find it a lot harder to start processing what they are going through whilst it is still going on.
Q Did you feel like songwriting helped you to work through the pain you were experiencing?
Definitely. As you listen through the EP you will notice I have less and less to say. The feeling of having said all one has to say brings a certain amount of satisfaction, but also the uncertainty of not being sure what one is supposed to feel anymore, hence the title of track five. ‘What am I supposed to feel?’ might be my favourite both to have written and to listen to, because the second half featuring incredible saxophone melodies from a friend of mine, is so therapeutic for me even now (perhaps more so than any of the lyrics on the EP).
Q Did you sit down and compose the song in one sitting, or did it take some time to piece everything together?
Most of the time, lyrics are a real struggle. As one of my heroes, Billy Joel says, “I love having written; I hate writing”. But this song was one of those few, like my first ever track Half Myself and the final track on the EP ‘So Many Times’, where the lyrics more or less fell into place. It’s hard to remember exactly what I was thinking, but I wrote some short descriptions of the room my sister was in, and then improved them. The chorus was very much from the heart, but I remember verse two taking ages to finalise. For a long time I agonised over adding a bridge, but with the song already four minutes, it didn’t feel right. Eventually, it was those final two lines that finished the writing process. Those lines go down another level, beyond the chorus to saying an even deeper, more complex feeling.
Q You talk about “the little things” that used to seem big—what does that shift in perspective mean to you now?
Those lines in verse two take a nostalgic turn. They try to convey my change in perspective I still carry, that while my own woes do matter, they seem a whole lot shallower and insignificant now that someone so close to me is going through something I had never even heard of nor thought was possible. I miss the times that hearing updates about my sister were fairly small insignificant life events (in comparison).
Q The imagery at the beginning, like “curtains closed” and “windows drawn,” makes a strong emotional landscape—how do images come into play in your writing process?
It certainly depends on the song and the lyrical subject, but setting a strong visual yet emotionally poignant image was very important to this song in particular because I wanted to impress on the listener the main impression the whole situation had made on me. Moreover, the lines were originally the other way round as in normal use: curtains drawn, windows closed. I reversed them for a specific effect. The opening lines give the listener the same feeling I was having: the feeling that this is all wrong. Someone so young, with so much life to live, someone so generous and loving, should not be this ill, having to be cared for and unable to even feel the pleasure of sunlight. It’s all so upside down and back to front.
Q Did you have in mind how others could relate to the lyrics when you were writing, or was it more of a personal release?
Most of my songs lean towards being more personal. There are no hard and fast rules in songwriting but I generally believe that if you try to make lyrics relatable, it will have the opposite effect, whereas if you just write what is on your heart, it may be exactly what some people are feeling even if they have interpreted it totally different to how you meant it.
Q How have fans responded to Curtains Closed, specifically those who might be going through something similar?
The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Many simply say it made them cry, while others remark how impressed they were with the raw vulnerability of the lyrics. I am very encouraged by it, but I look forward to hearing more from listeners who are also carers. I don’t need their positive feedback, they may find it too raw, but I would like to know either way.
Q Is there one line in the song that continues to impact you when you listen or sing along?
Perhaps unusually, most of the lyrics in this song still feel pretty real. However, I think the opening line of the chorus “All I want to hear/is that you’re getting better” might be the most impactful at the moment.
Q How do you look after yourself emotionally when creating music that is coming from such a place of hurt?
I think it might be the opposite way round. Music is the way artists look after themselves. Writing this EP has undoubtedly helped me in a very similar way to therapy. It sounds cliché but it really has. Writing these songs required digging down to the depths of emotions and thinking hard about what it was I was truly feeling, but as tiring as that might be, it is nothing compared to the tiredness of Chronic Fatigue, so I see it as a privilege.
Q Has writing the song changed your attitude about healing or loss?
Before I wrote the EP I was sceptical of the extent to which music could be cathartic. Listening to songs I relate to has always been an amazing experience, but writing the EP has felt like a small inner transformation took place. I feel free of having to carry around a lot of the initial pain and shock. It almost feels wrong to say too much about it because the people who desperately need the healing are the people suffering or family members suffering second-hand while caring for their loved ones. However, I try to look after myself because I believe, as Richard Rohr says, “if we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it”. So hopefully the more healed I am, the more I can facilitate healing for the sufferers and carers.
Q If you were to say something to someone who’s experiencing the type of experience you’re singing about in the song, what would it be?
I guess the message to them that the song emphasises is that they are not alone in what they are going through. However, in reality, I would say very little because the intention behind the song was not that I had any wisdom to offer them, but an earnest hope that in working through my own pain, it might provide an opportunity, a pathway or just a prompt for them to begin their own healing if they are ready.
Q Do you see Curtains Closed as belonging to a larger story or thread in your music?
It has been a large departure from the debut album, Glasnost, but it is hard to know about the future. Part of me feels I have said all I have to say on this situation for the moment, that it could be a standalone EP. Yet another part of me wonders if this should become a larger story because other ideas seem to pale into insignificance in the face of it. I definitely have a lot of new music already written to be released, but due to the aforementioned reasons, very few tracks have lyrics yet. Maybe they don’t need them.
