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Q. What motivated you to share your story in such a raw, unfiltered way about Mental Illness?
Back then, the music I was making was deeply tied to my own internal battles. I can’t stand uncertainty; it drives me to over-analyze things until my mind’s completely worn out. I had to get my thoughts out, record them, so I could listen back and internalize the message I needed to stay in the fight.
Q How challenging was it to write lyrics that are so honest about violence and self-harm?
Truthfully, it wasn’t a struggle. I think anyone who can translate their thoughts into a physical form inherently possesses the ability to communicate that level of depth. The soul demands to be fed, and if that demand is ignored, the resulting emptiness will manifest as suppressed demons that will ultimately explode past any self-imposed limits. I simply don’t censor myself when I’m creating.
Q You talk about demons in the mirror and voices—how do you translate those extreme emotions into words?
It’s just me with a pen, a pad, a microphone, and a mind that’s always on the edge of snapping.
Q When you reflect on the song now, do you think it still represents how you feel today?
Nah, not entirely. See, I met Grim, and iLLL, and found a real family in the label and ‘The Network.’ That’s brought me a lot more mental peace. Lately, I’ve been switching up the tempo to a more upbeat, hype sound. It’s about showing the world that not every broken mind stays stuck in the pieces forever. Think of it like, Humpty Dumpty, falling off the wall in reverse.
Q In the song, you talk about avoiding therapy calls. How is your relationship with therapy now?
Look, I still don’t really buy into therapy as a serious, tangible solution for myself, but I’m not gonna discredit it for folks it does help. Statistics are what they are. For me though, just talking shit out never really moved the needle, no matter who was on the other side.
Q The song talks about looking for clarity instead of charity. Can you talk about what that difference is to you?
I see clarity as the point where I genuinely know I can achieve happiness. Charity just feels like something received out of pity for my situation, and that’s not the energy I’m after. If I can’t find a different sense of purpose and actually gain something from going after it, then how the Hell can I ever move forward?
Q Did you ever worry about people misunderstanding the honesty of your lyrics?
Nah, not necessarily. I’m not really hindered by other people’s opinions about who I am. I don’t go around pushing my music in person ’cause it’s hellishly personal and can get dark. But the internet landscape is this wide-open space, all bandwidth and coding, where I can just exist without limits. And thanks to the crew at 3NIGMA BRED MUSIC, I’ve even started breaking out of my shell lately. It’s about time, and progress, and I’m finally looking ahead to all that.
Q How does it make you feel to have listeners identify with or see themselves in your own personal struggles? Is that something that is comforting or brings pressure?
Honestly, it’s a little nerve-wracking. I never really expected folks to truly grasp where I was coming from. I don’t associate with many people, and I certainly don’t talk about my struggles often, so it was a genuine surprise to have so many connect with the lyrics. It can be a little much sometimes, but it’s definitely worth it.
Q What part of the song was hardest to write for you?
The part about my Dad. Without a doubt.
Q Do you consider writing to be therapy, or is it something different for you?
Writing is simply the foundational existence of words. And as ‘Kvng Apollo,’ my old handle, would’ve put it: ‘I am attuned to the music, the poetry, and most importantly the lyrics therein.’ Given that, how could it be anything less than both therapy and ecstasy for me?
Q The song sounds as if it was written in a time of crisis—was it?
Was it written in a time of crisis? My whole life is a damn crisis. If you truly knew what I deal with every single day… Listen, we at 3NIGMA BRED MUSIC put out exactly what we feel, no fake derivatives or diluted ideas. We take what we live and bleed it into the microphone.
Q Have your own feelings about your mental health changed since you finished the track?
I actually touched on that in one of my previous responses when we talked about meeting Grim and iLLL and finding ‘The Network.'”
Q What do you say to someone who’s going through the same numbness and anger that you’re addressing in the song?
I’d tell ’em: Don’t let that straight jacket hinder your growth. Break the chains, end the cycle, and to hell with the critics. If you feel like nobody gets you, jump on the 3NIGMA BRED bandwagon. We’re all a little messed up, and that makes for some damn good company.
