FOREVER IN TRANSIT
Q: I really love the overarching vibe and deep introspection that permeates your album “A Coming to Terms.” What’s the concept behind the record?
The album is an exploration of self-growth and acceptance, along the way navigating the often painful and chaotic factors that we must weather to arrive there. It poses the question: “Where do I end and the world begins?”, exploring how we are defined by our experiences and things we attach ourselves to, which ultimately shapes our trajectory as a person
Q: The first track, “Let Go Your Earthly Tether,” speaks of existential questions of identity. Can you talk to me about the process of writing those lyrics and what they mean to you?
I wanted “Let Go” to be our entry point into the concept, presenting our motivation to go through the process of self-growth through the rest of the album. Our protagonist is frustrated and almost filled with despair, contemplating all of the things that they perceive holding them back from reaching their goal – their attachments, and past, and the circumstances they are born into. Writing the lyrics, I visualized someone literally bound to the earth, filled with potential to take flight if only those ties were severed. The music conveys this sense of flight with the faster tempo and meter changes. I took a musically literal approach with the lyrics to the chorus – “What the hell am I” – by using all of the different vocal colors present on the album, including clean, harsh, and effected/vocoded singing, and both Chris’ and my voices. In my mind, that blurred the lines between an individual with a defined identity singing into a more ambiguous group vocal.
Q: On “What Lies Beneath,” you seem to caution against the lies we tell ourselves. Where did that kind of introspection about self-deceit come from, and how do you think that fits into the bigger picture of the record?
I think most people have the tendency to construct a narrative in their head, justifying their actions and circumstances. For example, if something unexpectedly unfortunate happens, we rationalize it by saying something like “everything happens for a reason”, or we rationalize someone disrespecting our boundaries. This can stifle growth if that narrative is dishonest. If I want to become a more successful musician, and I’m not practicing, not gigging, not putting myself out there, and my internal narrative is that I’m just not as lucky as other artists, or I just haven’t had my break yet, then that is obviously going to hold me back until I address that. Sometimes our inner narrative even rationalizes terrible behaviors or excuses someone else mistreating us, or we are unduly harsh towards ourselves with our “self-talk”.
Q: A lot of your lyrics-many of them, at least, like on “Streams of Thought”-seem to really grapple with the concept of being lost within one’s own mind. How much of that reflects your own experiences with self-reflection and introspection?
I am definitely prone to getting lost in my head! “Streams of Thought” to me really comes from my experience that ruminating on something isn’t always the best approach to a problem – you can end up just going in circles and sometimes the best thing is just to meet the resistance head on and take action! The initial inspiration came of all places from this character in a sci-fi book who belonged to this race of people who were super geniuses, but had this obsessive compulsive quality that really kept them from being able to utilize that intellect to do anything meaningful! It is also influenced by the concept of asceticism – depriving yourself of pleasure to attain some sort of “higher” virtuous state. To me, that can be taken to an extreme and become really maladaptive. “Washing my hands until my fingers bleed” – ritualistic purification that ultimately serves no real purpose. It just creates this illusion that because you are suffering you are attaining some kind of virtue.
Q: I think one of the recurring motifs on this record is release, letting go somehow. This is very much addressed in “I Cling to Threads” and “Enter the Void”. What does letting go mean to you, personally, but also on this record?
Letting go, for me, is the trust that if you step away from the things that hold meaning for you, they will stay exactly where they are. It is an act of absolute surrender, and acceptance that it is ok to not be in control.
Q: Your lyrics are often existential questions-“Am I who I love, or what I’ve lost?” from “I Cling to Threads” being one of them. How do those kinds of questions guide your songwriting and do you feel like you’re looking for answers through your music?
I love to read about existential philosophy, and Jeremy and I often have long conversations about existence and the nature of the universe (we both have a hard time with small talk). A lot of the time, I use my lyrics as a vehicle to explore those topics. Often when I write lyrics I don’t have a set song form, and just write prose, and my first sketches tend to be more like exploratory idea dumps. Sometimes certain imagery inspires me, or a certain philosophical question.
Q: I love in “Empty, and Become Wind,” how you’ve introduced this concept of becoming antifragile, that’s to say, through challenges we grow stronger. Can you talk more about how you developed this concept in the lyrics, what does it mean to you personally?
I have to credit my brother for introducing me to the idea of antifragile, from the book of the same name! I think that as a mindset it can often be misguided or taken to an extreme – we all have a breaking point – but I think it can help to contextualize the difficult things that we experience in life. To me, I think that there is a well-earned confidence that we achieve by overcoming adversity. When I feel challenged by something, I really try to see it as something that I can grow from!
Q: On “A Coming to Terms,” being such a closing track, it really brings personal growth and the weathering of life’s storms into consideration. Can you talk about how this idea of acceptance and regrowth plays into the message you try to convey with this record?
I think “A Coming to Terms” really encapsulates what I wanted to convey with the album. Acceptance for who we are as a person, and an honest commitment to grow into the best version of ourselves, carrying that identity with integrity. Sometimes the place we arrive at is different from where we thought we were going, and we lose sight of who we are. Things break us. We struggle. Circumstances can shift our perspective. For me, the song is a reminder to be patient with myself, and that even though I am shaped by my experiences, I am free to choose how I respond and wield my identity.
Q: What would you want people to feel or think while listening to the lyrics on “A Coming to Terms”?
I hope that people can lean into the concept of acceptance and growth, and hopefully be a bit more kind in how they view themselves and others. We’re all on this spinning rock hurtling through the cosmos, and you never know what someone else is going through! The song also evokes a strong feeling of poignance and nostalgia for me, so I hope the listener can take a pause to reflect on their life experience, and take a breath of air before pressing on with their life.
Q: A lot of times, your lyrics tend to reflect some sort of philosophical idea. Is that something rooted in philosophical influence with songwriting?
I had to spend a lot of time researching and studying different sources while working on the lyrics for A Coming to Terms. There are perspectives informed by bits and pieces of Existentialism, Taoism, Stoicism, Buddhism, psychology, cognitive science, and modern physics. I find it incredibly fascinating how each area can offer different insight or shed new light on a problem especially in the context of the main themes of the album, so I wanted to treat each source as a different lens or tool to approach a problem! I am by no means an expert in any of these areas, but in general, I love learning and trying to see things from as many different perspectives as I can! This is really my underlying ethos with how I approach Forever in Transit as a project – I am always a work in progress and I want the music to reflect where I am at a moment in time, functioning as a vehicle to both grow as well as chronicle that growth.
Q: Would you say that this album covers all the emotional processes you went through? Is there, like, a moment or an experience that could have served as a catalyst to exploring who you are and finding yourself?
I think it was more a culmination of experiences rather than any one particular moment for me! The way that the songs on the album are arranged was intuitive for me, as far as the different steps or stages to grow as a person. What I love about these themes is that I think they are universal – everyone has to come to grips with them at some point in their life! Who am I? How am I defined by the things that I attach myself to, and how does that shape my trajectory as a person?” The lyrics were ultimately filtered through and shaped by my own experiences, but I wanted to keep things more general.
Q: Do you think that, with this record in particular, there’s something you’re trying to get across almost as a kind of message, or philosophy? Or is it more the asking of questions?
I’m always a proponent of the idea that half the battle to figuring something out is articulating the correct questions, so in a way, I hope that the different questions posed on the album help the listener to reflect, sparking their own unique experience. Ultimately, I want to convey that it is ok to struggle, to not be sure where you are going, and to still work on figuring out who you are. And once you are sure of who you are, look again.
Q: I was really struck by all of the metaphors you use. You sing about being suspended by threads, waves, and echoes. How do those images come to you, and what do they mean for you?
I’m a big physics nerd! The visualization of energy flow is really cool to me, so the idea of being an echo or a wave is interesting, where you are really just a conduit conducting something that originated before you. Essentially being acted upon by influences external to you, as a way to convey that who we are as individuals doesn’t mean we exist in isolation, and that the boundaries between the “self” and “outside factors” is difficult to define.
Q: In contrast, there is almost a sense of peace in “Enter the Void” – embracing impermanence. Can you relate that to some of the more treacherous emotions you explore elsewhere on this record?
I really wanted to contrast the aggression and intensity of “Enter the Void” with a sense of implacable peace, creating this paradox. You have Chris screaming these Ram Dass-isms and all of these fast, chaotic riffs, and for me, that is like my brain still fighting that idea that I can be impermanent, I can let go of the narrative in my head telling me I have to be certain way or achieve some arbitrary goal according to an arbitrary timeline – and that it would be ok! On the other hand, some of the more musically calm sections of the album have some of the more heart-wrenching lyrics, particularly “I Cling to Threads”, which is almost like our protagonist hitting rock bottom emotionally.
Q: Is there a specific lyric or song on the album which you’re most proud of? Why?
I think in general, “Empty and Become Wind” is the song I am the most proud of. I think the lyrics came together most naturally for me out of every song on the album, and it really accomplishes what I had envisioned for Forever in Transit as a project. I love music that takes me on a journey, where I feel I am left in a completely different place from where I started, with tons of ups and downs along the way, and “Empty” definitely gives me that feeling!
Q: How does it feel for you to go back and listen to your older songs versus the new work on “A Coming to Terms”? Has your approach changed in songwriting?
I think my songwriting is more cohesive and focused than it was when I wrote our debut album States of Disconnection. If you listen to that album, there is much more variation in the different musical elements that comprise each song, with many of the tracks having these long-winded tangential bridges. The songs on A Coming to Terms are quite long, but I think that the structure is still more focused.
Q: Your music somehow manages to make an extremely immersive kind of atmosphere in listeners. How do you envision the role of lyrics in creating that emotional space for listeners?
For this album, I almost always started with the music before worrying about lyrics and vocal melodies – the album was actually originally going to be an instrumental EP! So in this case, I already had the vibe and atmosphere defined by the music, and that added a lot of parameters for what the lyrics needed to support and accomplish. Musically, I had envisioned this balance between inertia in the more typically “metal” elements balanced with these more ethereal soundscapes. Lyrically, I wanted to delve into philosophical territory, but sort of keep things grounded in the sense of the concepts being presented in a way where anyone could relate to it. I think the biggest challenge was making sure that each song had something different to offer lyrically to develop the concept, and balancing cohesion without being too repetitive! Additionally, just like there are many musical motifs that are recurrent in each track, there are some lyrics that show up in multiple places!
Q: What do you hope people take away from your music, specifically with an album like “A Coming to Terms” that is so deeply rooted in identity and personal growth?
I hope that listeners lean into the concept with an open mind. Mostly, I hope that they feel unburdened after listening – so much of the lyrical content centers around learning to release the things that are weighing you down! Music has always been an important way for me to process and release whatever I’m feeling, and I hope others can experience that same sort of catharsis!
