BAD BUBBLE

Q: Can you tell us a little something about the creative process behind “Beauty Burger”? How did the song come alive?

Beauty Burger was written very quickly. I was in a very high motivation period in my life, which I still find myself in today. This was at the end of October 2021. I wrote Beauty Burger along with a few others from various other albums that night. I wrote almost everything at night and into the next day. I remember the harmony at the end was impromptu. I hadn’t originally intended to do that. There was also supposed to be a longer outro. But I was very pleased with the outcome.

Q: “Beauty Burger” is full of quite reflective, thoughtful moments. Do you often write from personal experience or else write from other positions?

Beauty Burger is an extremely specific and painful song. Disguised with a ludicrous title, it is one of the more painful compositions I have. It’s obviously about loss. The loss of your other half. Or in this case, your 33.333. In order to understand the song, if a person wishes to do so, firstly, look at the albums on Spotify under the name Bad Bubble. You will notice something similar.
I have been telling a story written in October 2021 through January 2022. This is just over 3 months. During that time, I wrote a true story spanning 9 albums, 8 EP’s and dozens of singles. The albums are all easily identifiable. You will see either a silhouette of a man in a house or a woman in a house. The 6th album, WAR, there is no one in the house. Its emptiness represents my time in the US Army when I was deployed overseas. But every other album is easily identifiable. All EP’s are from this story. Each EP is a prelude to the upcoming album. For example, my first EP, Past One was the prelude to my first album, Future 9. I recently released “Am I a Good Man?”. This was my 7th EP introducing my 7th Album, “a Well Devised Plan”, which Beauty Burger is the Lead Single. I have 2 more albums and 1 more EP to conclude a story which will take me over 3 years to tell. There are other albums however. Those albums (an Intricate Cacophony and January are unrelated to this story). That is the fastest way I can explain what I am doing. In regard to your question, Beauty Burger introduces the “Well Devised Plan”. In this case, the man in the window (me) and the woman in the window (Underscore) are finally brought together. Some songs on this album are written from my point of view. Some are from Underscore’s point of view. Beauty Burger is more like a conversation between the two main characters.

Q: That first line, “I’ll be here…burning a hole right through your heart again,” just leaps out. What was running through your mind when you wrote that

Underscore. This is her talking to me. She is in the position where she is told what she in fact has and how valuable and delicate it is. Some people hold another person’s heart in their hands, whether they want it or not. That is beside the point. If you are in that honorable position, act accordingly. Because you have so much power over that person. You could crush them or make them the happiest on Earth. Some people are not responsible with it. Sadly…

Q: There is somewhat of a recurring theme of loneliness within this song, especially with lines like “Only the lonely can win.” What kind of role does loneliness take within your songwriting process?

In this particular case, it is a recurring theme stretched over a few different songs. The last reference was a single release titled Hozar. The line in that song states, “The joke is on you. cause between you and me, I’m the one who’s miserable”.
This alludes to a type of game some people play where things become a sort of contest to “win”. Who hurt who the most. If you state what your partner did to you was more hurtful, well, you win. But what is it you win? What are you trying to accomplish? A victim point? Bragging rights? All couples play this game to an extent. When the truth is, the only way to win is to not keep score.

Q: There’s just one line in the lyrics-it says, “I guess I’ve been lonely cause I don’t have the strength to have a conscience anymore.” That’s such a deep line. Can you just elaborate a little on what you meant by that?

This is a reference to depression. To be so depressed and immersed in sadness, you cease caring about anything. By doing this, you are hurting those around you. Hence, not having the strength to have a conscience. Story wise, I had a big plan to get Underscore back which took a year to implement. Many things had to be completed before I approached. But when I did, I found Underscore in a place I had never seen her in before. A massive state of crippling depression. She was always happy, ever since I first met her. Very happy. It threw me off because the year I spent preparing did not account for this. I had battled it myself for many years. Ever since returning from overseas with the Army. I then had to take on isolation and a depression I don’t feel comfortable describing as that. I was in a very bad way. I needed Underscore badly. We never had a chance after we lost Anna, our daughter. She was taken before she ever took a breath. But unfortunately, some things don’t go away. Some things cannot be put back together, no matter the plan, or how well devised it is. Or if your heart was in the right place. All of this is incredibly difficult to speak of. But I will answer as best as I can. This is why I am here. Thank you for these questions. They mean a lot to me.

Q: You mention being confused about the future with “been confused about what the day may bring.” Would you say uncertainty is something that really influences a lot of your music?

Yes, very much so. As well as the time reflecting on it. Ever notice, a test or exam or getting the results back from something important has a cloud of sorts which comes along with it? We spend more time dreading something than we do actually experiencing it.

When I finally implemented my plan, which was very detailed, I ended up in a very strange place. I had weighed every possible outcome. I mean I sat down for days and did nothing but brainstorm outcomes of this plan and where this could go. More importantly, how would I react?
What would the day bring? How will I react and what will I do if Underscore does this? Or that?
I was not in anyway prepared for what would actually happen. Nothing could have ever braced me for that.

Q: How important is it for you to be vulnerable with your lyrics? Do you feel like it’s easier to write, or harder to write, when you’re being that open?

I don’t really look at it as difficult during the writing process. I decided what I was going to do. After that decision, all that is left is to tell the truth. Is it difficult to revisit? Not during the writing process. It was simply what had to be done. The difficult part is now. Revisiting it after the songs are completed. Keep in mind, Beauty Burger was written around October 2021. So the song itself is that old. I wrote it very quickly. Beauty Burger was written and recorded in about 3-4 hours. Then I moved on to the next. That is the only way to do a huge project like this. Fast.
Again, the difficult part is now. Revisiting it. There are other difficult parts as well, but this is among the most difficult.

Q: How do you relate with the notion of loss? Do you feel like that’s something circular within your music and if so, why?

That is what life is about. Loss. As an artist, I have to reflect that. Some could argue life isn’t just about loss. But we must write about what we know. I don’t know anything about happiness or success or having joy. There are plenty of artists discussing these topics. I wouldn’t say circular. That would imply it leaves. The loss is constant, unforgiving, and never ending. It is an extremely sad outlook. I agree. However, it’s what I know. I do know other things besides this. But the pain of loss is what has consumed everything. So I need to discuss it.

Q: Do you feel that unleashing some of the themes in “Beauty Burger” makes you grow as an artist? Has writing that song changed your perspective on certain things?

Interesting question. I suppose yes, it could have. I don’t know. That is a good question. I really don’t know. To me it was like building a house. You start and you do not stop until it is complete. That is what I did. I knew exactly what I had to do. Did that make me change perspective on certain things? The story which I’m telling did. It made me change my perspective on almost everything. The artist part is just me letting others know what happened. But as the topics happened to me in real life, one by one, yes. It most certainly changed my perspective on everything. I am nowhere near as optimistic as I once was. I am just numb now.

Q: Are there any artists or songs that inspired the lyrical direction of “Beauty Burger,” or was this a purely personal piece?

Yes, a little. There is a song by The Postal Service titled “Clark Gable”. The song has a man and a woman singing. They are pretty much having a conversation back and forth. A great song..Anyway, Beauty Burger is kind of set up similar where vocally, myself and Underscore are being represented. I remember thinking how will the audience know who is being discussed. I concluded it really didn’t matter. At this point, both characters are beaten down horribly. Both had suffered in ways no one should have to. So at the end of the day, it didn’t matter. Both are in the same place. Both are numb. Completely numb.

Q: Take us through, if you will, a typical songwriting session that you go through. Do you focus on the lyrics first, or does the music guide the words?

This is rather hard to explain. I don’t really write anything as much as I find it. I go in with no predestination. I simply place my fingers on the keys and I just start hitting keys. It’s like putting your fishing line in the water…I’m just waiting for something to come along and bite. I start searching around and sure enough, one will present itself. I’ll start molding it and getting a BPM. I always start with the drums and work my way through. The last thing I do is vocals. I always get a vocal melody along the way. I then create the vocal track(s) and that’s it. Beauty Burger, & all songs from this story were engineered by a professional. It was too important for me to do it. I’m no engineer.

Q: The title “Beauty Burger” is so unique and unexpected. How did you come up with it, and what does it represent for you?

It’s an assist. Like in basketball. It sets up the ending. Which often is needed. Right now, I’m sweating bullets hoping the ending is as climactic as possible. Songs have evolved. Word has it most songs will fall a little over 2 minutes in a couple of years. I can’t do that. Bad Bubble music is not intended for people who have no patience. You have to be able to dig into a story. A story that cannot and will not be told in the first 8 seconds of a song. With the songwriting style I use, you’ll see build up. First minute or so, introduction to the song. Second minute it builds and builds. Finally ¾ of the way through you will get a climax. That is how this story is set up for the most part. All of my album singles are special. From “This is for Kori” in album number 1 to “Alone” in number 5. Beauty Burger carries the 7th album well. But number 8. The album single or flagship single for Album 8 has to be the climax. Beauty Burger sets it up for a slam dunk. By the way, Frustrate, the album single for album 8 will be out very soon.

Q: How would you want your audiences to interpret “Beauty Burger”? Do you want them to take away something in particular from this record?

It’s the main theme for what is basically Chapter 7 in a story. It’s all one story. We’ve come a long way. And if you are just now finding out about it that is completely fine. Everything was written in a way that someone at any time can come in and hear a good story. A true story. It’s ok if you do not see the big picture after hearing one album. You have to hear the entire thing. It stretches over the course of my life. From the relentless bullying I had to endure in the EP The Mall Chronicles to the period of my life where I went completely insane as told in All my Friends (Album 5). Each chapter is its own variant, which all have Anna at its heart.

I want anyone who will listen to know this is the most important thing I will ever do. Nothing I ever do from here on will be more important to me than this project. It is my life’s work. And it is 100% honest. It is not perfect. I made mistakes along the way. I could have done a better job at many things. But at no time was the welfare of my work on the back burner or coasting along. I tried all I could and spent a fortune navigating it. I fell short. I know that. But at no time did I not go full steam ahead on the pathway best to get me where I want to go. I did my best with the options available.
I don’t accept where I ended up. I’ll always wonder what I could have done better. But that is what will save me in the end. Because asking what could I have done is better then why didn’t I?

Q: You’ve talked about confusion and uncertainty in that song. Are those feelings you think a lot of people are going through these days?

Without a doubt. When I said earlier that life is about loss, I really meant that. Every pain stems from some kind of loss. Even the suffering of another person who you are with. What have they lost? Their ability and their possession of a happy normal life. Everything is loss. When you gain something, you’ve just lost something else. If you meet the love of your life, you have just lost your ability to concentrate on yourself. You’ve lost your ability to think rationally. And you have lost any comfort associated with a one track lifestyle. You now have to care for someone other than yourself. You just lost all of that. In fact, you have to sacrifice and put that other person way ahead of yourself, if you wish to have the traditional love relationship. I believe everyone on Earth, past, present, and future will have a life revolving around loss. With no exceptions.

Q: When you look back on songs like “Beauty Burger,” do you feel differently about those songs over time, or do those emotions still feel as raw to you as when you wrote them?

A great question. I would say yes, they are just as potent as they ever were. They all revolve around an innocent little girl. It will always affect me in a painful way. But painful is not synonymous with negative. I look at my daughter and I actually smile sometimes. I really do. I know she’s up there smiling at the messes I create for myself. I would bet everything I have and everything I am on it. So with it, we have a choice as to let it sit as it is. Raw pain. But we can also choose to do other things. We have options. I chose to keep her close and not to let anything end but rather have a more unique existence void of any traditional outlook. We have to find something that works.

Q: How do you balance your personal life with your music? Does one influence the other, or do you try and keep them separate?

I make it a point to connect them. For a long time, I’ve often said BB and myself are two different people. One lives alone, is bitter, even angry at times. Lives a very small existence in the midwest, USA. Has no friends. No one knows he’s alive. The other exists on people’s computers and phones. He’s charismatic, friendly, has many friends, and is constantly busy with ten different things at a time. He looks forward to tomorrow and can’t wait to perform for people. He loves being able to entertain. They are so completely different. But lately, I’ve been aware of a merger of sorts. I think the closer I get to the end of the story, and the end of my career, the two will have to find a way to co-exist. I don’t want BB to go away. But he will have to. I need to find a way to say goodbye and have peace with this whole thing. Not live angry. Do my absolute best to be as authentic as possible. Always aim for the next level while BB is still here. Never give up. But also, know when to walk away and be able to tell myself I tried. I did everything I could to make it happen. There is no other avenue…No one got in my way. No one prevented me. No one is to blame but myself. That is my goal.

Q: Your lyrics quite often border on heavier themes, such as loneliness and loss. How do you deal with those feelings yourself, both within and outside your music?

Another good question…I suppose I don’t have a secret way that makes anything better. But I do have a belief that things will be set right. I try not to wish anymore. I try to remove hope from most everything. Hope is very dangerous. It can cause irrational decisions and even delusions. I know what it is like to want something so badly that it is just not possible to fail. But at some point we have to snap out of it.
I try to remind myself of the bigger picture. What is ahead? There is a certainty I live with which most may not. I believe I’ll see my daughter again. Why am I so sure? Because the alternative is unthinkable. So I operate by that line of thinking. Is it a choice? Belief? Maybe not. Maybe both. But I have to believe that and even look forward to that. That is the best way I have found to deal with it.

Q: Is there a specific line in “Beauty Burger” that you’re particularly proud of or that holds special meaning for you?

The final line…”Cause it’s the way I had to lose you”. This is a reference to the next and final album. Album 8: A Conclusion. It refers to how it ends. It will be very difficult to release but at the same time…It will mean it’s over. I promised Anna I would see this through. No one ever gave her anything. She only had things taken. That didn’t sit right with me. So I gave her something. Something very big. 9 albums, 8 EP’s, and dozens of singles telling her story. How do you tell the story of a child who was never even given the opportunity to take a single breath? You tell the story of her parents. Her mother and her father. And you tell whoever listens that her name is Anna and she is loved. How I lost her mother will haunt me. But how I successfully gave my daughter something so…big…which took over 3 years to complete…
She deserves so much more. But I will be a proud father. For once. That will suffice.

Q: Finally, what’s next for you? Are there any new projects or themes you’re excited to explore in your upcoming work?

I have a lot of music coming out in the next 12 months. Many albums. I need to make everything available. I want to walk away and leave it all on the field…where it belongs…I don’t want to ever come back. It’s not my world here. I don’t chase algorithms or make videos a certain way to appease the algorithm gods. That has nothing to do with being a songwriter or an artist. And a lot of great songwriters & artists are going to go unheard because of this ridiculous way of doing things. However, I’m not going to try to change anything. That would be futile. Instead I’ll go home. I’ll figure out what I want to do next. But it will not be in the music business. The last thing this business needs is yet another artist.