AVA VALIANTI
Q What inspired you to write “Distant,” and was there a specific moment or memory that stimulated the idea?
This song really came from an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and sad realizations that time spent with childhood friends sometimes has to be left in childhood.
Q The lyrics are so personal. Was it difficult for you to put those feelings into words and expose them?
It’s always difficult to write a song and put it out in the world, and this song was no different. But I think it’s so worth it in the end, because so many people find comfort in and relate to the themes of these songs and that’s all I want!
Q Did you have a particular friend from your own life in mind when you wrote the song, or is it more of a summing up of experiences?
While there were certainly some people in mind while writing this song, my songs are never pointed at anyone in particular! They’re always more about a certain feeling I’m having and I try to express that in an authentic way!
Q Did it matter to you that the song reflected both acceptance and nostalgia and heartbreak?
Definitely! ‘Distant’ needed all those feelings to be within the song because that complex range of emotion reflected my experience with friends, especially the nostalgia.
Q The term “friendship’s fictitious” really stands out. Can you address what you believe that is saying?
Yeah, of course! I believe that this line was meant to symbolize a point of no return for the friendship, and the doubt that every kid goes through about friends lasting. However, I don’t think I believe this now, but the line meant a lot to me because it reflected a tumultuous time for me. I’m also just a really overdramatic teen, but that’s okay!
Q Do you view “Distant” as a goodbye, a kind of closure, or as more of an open-ended contemplation?
Wow, I love this question! I’d say that while I used to view it as a swan song of sorts, it’s come back around to become more open-ended in my mind these days. These things always change for me over time, and I’m glad to become more optimistic about the message of the music!
Q Did songwriting alter the way you feel about that friendship?
It definitely did, because I looked at everything from an outside view, and turned my sadness into productivity and passion! So I’d say that this song changed my perspective in a big way.
Q Your present interactions with your friend are depicted in a subdued, almost passive manner. Is this done deliberately to illustrate what has happened?
This was really to show the stage of drifting that can occur in relationships. There’s that feeling of knowing you’re becoming less alike, and you’re finding other people you can connect with, but the memories of that person still keep you tethered. You can’t really stop the train, but you can watch it leave.
Q In what ways do you think time alters how we view childhood friendships?
I think that sometimes we grow up and grow apart without even realizing it, and it’s a sad truth that I’ve had a particularly hard time dealing with these past few years. Some friendships are ever present for years and years, but some are meant to fade away. Doesn’t mean you don’t miss the person, it just means that maybe they were needed then instead of now.
Q The lyrics do seem to accept the distance without blaming. Was it important to you not to blame in the song?
For sure, because no one is really to blame in situations like these. There’s always gonna be some connection there, and I’ll always want connection again, but the dissolution of everything isn’t anyone’s fault but life’s.
Q Was it easier or harder for you to write about real people and events rather than made-up ones?
It’s always easier to write from the heart about personal situations, because while they take a lot out of you, they’re more meaningful and raw. That deep emotion that you feel makes the very best music because music is inherently emotional and intimate.
Q When writing about the past, how do you decide if a memory is worth transforming into a lyric?
I mean, there’s definitely some things I wish I could have included, and sometimes things I wish I left out. But I’d say it’s not as much of a decision as it is a stream-of-consciousness type thought that bleeds onto the paper.
Q Which was the most emotionally difficult line in the song for you to write?
I’d say all the lyrics at the very end. It was a bit of a cynical take on friendship, and made me more sad than anything to acknowledge. That’s not what the song is on a whole, but that deep sadness and doubt is baked in along with the happy memories and wistful nature of the lyrics.
Q Is there a favorite lyric of “Distant” that is most personal to you?
I really love “And I know it sounds weird and cliche, but I danced with your sister in the rain”, because it just takes me back to little moments that I’ll never be able to forget. They force you to connect with the song and revisit old memories of your own, and I love the magic of that.
Q Was there anything you chose not to include in the lyrics because it was too raw or personal?
I’d say that this one was all on the page! I laid it all out exactly how I was feeling, and while there were some things I was debating to leave on the cutting room floor, it all felt too integral to the song, and so every original idea made it into ‘Distant’!
Q In retrospect, are you alright with the friendship that this song was written about, or is something that you’re still trying to process?
Sometimes I think I’m okay with the feelings surrounding this song, and sometimes I’m not, which is okay! It’s always going to be mixed emotions, and that’s alright, because I know in the end that everything was meant to turn out the way it has.
Q Do you believe “Distant” would have been the same song if you’d written it a few years earlier or later?
Probably not, not only because of the meaning behind the song but because of the writing style! I believe that my writing evolves and progresses the more I do it, and I truly hope it continues to get better and more emotionally mature the more I write!
