ARTURS LAPINS
Q: What inspired you to write “Hurts More This Way”?
A: This song was inspired by my ex, who played a significant role in shaping who I am today through the experiences we shared. The pain I went through because of her was immense, and for years, I avoided writing this song. There were times when inspiration struck, but I was caught up in other projects, and other times, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to revisit those memories. Eventually though, I knew I had to write it. My music is a reflection of my life and experiences, and she was such a pivotal part of my journey. It felt important to express that through this song.
Q: How was it, having to relive that personal and hurtful moment over and over again while creating the lyrics?
A: By the time I wrote this song, so much time had passed since I’d been with this person that I had fully moved on. Writing it didn’t feel as intense as it might have if the experience were still fresh. But I did have to revisit those emotions and immerse myself in how I felt back then. It was an interesting process because it reminded me of how much I’d grown since that time, which was actually quite a nice realization. Still, to write a song that truly captured those feelings, I had to dive back into them and let those emotions guide the lyrics.
Q: You’re reflecting on the pain of unrequited love in this song. Was it difficult to be that vulnerable with your writing?
A: When I was younger, I was afraid to share my feelings and thoughts, especially with people I didn’t know. But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to realize how important vulnerability is. At the end of the day, we’ve all experienced struggles so nobody is perfect. I’ve learned to embrace being open, whether through my music or in face-to-face interactions. For some, hearing those raw, often painful truths can be comforting or relatable, while for others, it might feel too intense to know so much about someone they don’t know very well. Either way, I believe vulnerability is far better than shutting yourself off, it’s what makes us human and allows us to truly connect. So I guess the answer is no, it wasn’t difficult for me, because I knew that there are many people that would resonate with this song and I was happy to share a painful part of my life.
Q: You say in the lyrics how hard it was to let go. What finally led you to move on?
A: Looking into this person’s eyes and realizing that nothing would ever change for the better was the turning point for me. For once, I chose to trust my gut and give myself permission to move on. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, and afterward, my mind was flooded with doubts, questions like “Was it the right choice?” or “What if my gut is wrong?” but I knew I had to push through those thoughts and trust what I felt in that moment. Now looking back, I’m so glad I did, because it saved me from even greater pain that would have come if I had stayed.
Q: How did you balance, in your lyrics, the warmth of the memories with the heartbreak of the present?
A: While writing the lyrics, I approached it from the perspective of reflecting on those close, personal, and special moments I shared with this person and questioning how things had unraveled so drastically. In a way, the lyrics became a direct conversation with them, expressing my thoughts and emotions as they came. I didn’t try to make the song overly visual or abstract but instead I kept the lyrics more literal. Unlike some other songs that can carry multiple layers of meaning, this one felt more straightforward which felt like it was the right way to go for this song.
Q: Was writing this song cathartic, or was it an emotionally more challenging process?
A: The songs that feel the most cathartic to write are usually about experiences that are still fresh. However, I don’t often write about recent events because I’m usually too overwhelmed by the emotions to focus, let alone write a song. When I have managed to do it in the past, I’ve created some really special lyrics, so it’s something I’d like to do and need to do more often. With this song, the process was more challenging in the sense that I had to dive deep into the past and revisit memories and emotions I hadn’t touched in a long time and that’s not always something that is easy to do.
Q: What do you hope listeners take from “Hurts More This Way”?
A: Not everyone will connect with this song, and that’s okay. Not everyone has experienced this exact kind of situation in their lives. But for those who do resonate with it, I hope they can use it in the same way I use music, to feel and to heal. When I’m going through a tough time, I find comfort in songs that reflect what I’m experiencing, and I think many people do. They allow me to fully immerse myself in those emotions, away from the distractions of daily life, and really just feel. Sometimes that means letting go and even crying, but that release is where the healing happens. If this song can provide that to even one person, then it would bring me great happiness.
Q: You say you had trusted her promise and felt betrayal. How important was the expression of this emotion in this song?
A: I think that emotion was at the core of this song. While I might explore this relationship in a future song, perhaps from a different perspective or focusing on another phase or challenge, this particular song revolves around the promise and the betrayal. It’s about the feeling of trusting someone who assured me that everything was going great and we were good together, only to discover that they were the one to turn things around. That contradiction became the central theme of the song and what drove the lyrics I feel.
Q: In your second verse, you say that you noticed how your partner would look at you. Was this a point where everything changed, or did you use this as a place to turn your story?
A: The second verse captures the moment when I desperately wanted my suspicions to be wrong. I didn’t want to believe what my gut was telling me, I wanted to convince myself that I was overthinking it. But the way she looked at me played a huge role in making me realize that my instincts were sadly right. Eyes don’t lie. Most of the time it’s less about whether the other person deceives you and more about whether you deceive yourself to feel better. You can see the difference in how someone looks at you now versus how they used to, and deep down, you know there’s a reason for that change.
Q: Do you remember if there was one particular moment or memory that set the song going, lyrically?
A: I don’t remember exactly, but I think it started with either the chorus or the first verse. The chorus, with the lyrics “cause now you’re tryna steer me away from you,” was inspired by a distinct feeling I had, the sense that the other person was pushing me away, even though I didn’t understand why at the time. The verse lyric “thought what we had was special, you’re the one who said it” also played a key role in getting the song going. It stemmed from the realization that it wasn’t just me who believed what we had was special, she had said it too, and then the lyrics from those two kind of set up the rest of the lyrics for me.
Q: You said how you tried to push the barriers with your voice in this track; was that come from the emotional intensity in the lyrics, at all?
A: Yes, that’s exactly why. I wanted the lyric “and it hurts more this way” to truly capture the emotion behind it when I sang it. Initially I couldn’t hit the note with the power it needed, I could only sing it softly. I even considered singing it an octave lower, but I knew that wouldn’t convey the emotion I wanted. Another idea I had was to sing it a note lower and pitch it up afterward, though I wanted to avoid doing that.
Two months went by during the process of creating the song, with life getting in the way, and during that time I worked on strengthening my voice. By the time I came back to the song, I was finally able to hit the note the way I imagined. In the end, I didn’t need any tricks or anything, and I was so happy with how it turned out.
Q: Even though the song is about your journey, it is universal. How do you feel that you got to that balance?
A: I don’t think I was intentionally aiming for that balance, it just happened naturally. By sharing your story, not everyone will connect with every single word in the lyrics, but they might find certain lines or moments that resonate with them. From there, they piece together the overall picture in their own way. I think I approach songs the same way when I listen to others. I might not fully understand every lyric, but once I grasp the overall message or feel the emotion behind the song, it connects with me, even if I don’t know exactly what the artist is referring to.
Q: If this song were played for the person who inspired it, what would you hope they’d feel or understand?
A: This song has actually already been played for the person who inspired it, though I’m not sure if they know it’s about them. Maybe it crossed their mind, or maybe they fully realized it. If they know, they know. Honestly, I don’t think there’s much I’d want them to feel or understand because I believe they’ve grown and learned from their mistakes, just as I have.
If there is one thing, though, I’d want them to recognize the impact their actions had and how much pain they caused. I’d hope they understand that the things we do can deeply affect others, sometimes in ways we don’t fully realize.
Q: Do you think this song could reflect a certain time in your development both as a person and an artist?
A: As an artist, even though I’ve been making music for most of my life, I still feel like I’m in the early stages of my journey. There are so many more songs to write, stories to tell, and shows to play. I see this song as one of my first steps in sharing my life stories through music.
I’m also really happy with the production style of this track. I love the synths, which I actually created about two years ago. It just felt like this was the perfect song to use them in. They’re not overly unique, but I like them, and they work well for this piece. Who knows, maybe I’ll continue with this kind of synth style in the future, or maybe I’ll experiment with something entirely different. I guess we’ll see where the journey takes me haha.
Q: How do you feel that experience has shaped you aside from just having provided inspiration for the song?
A: The experience I’m singing about in the song taught me life lessons that you can’t really understand just by someone saying, “Don’t do that.” It’s given me the ability to recognize red flags more clearly when I meet new women, made me more cautious, and helped refine what I look for in a partner. I think it’s definitely matured me, pain has a way of doing that. The more painful situations you go through, the more you learn about life and grow from it. It’s also shifted my perspective and, in some ways, even changed my taste in women.
Q: Did the act of penning this song provide you closure, or do the wounds still linger within your mind?
A: Honestly, I had already moved on from this person long before writing the song, so it didn’t provide me with any closure, because there wasn’t any closure I needed. Instead, it was more about capturing a very intense part of my past that shaped me significantly. The goal wasn’t healing but rather creating something that conveys a piece of that experience.
I want my music to tell a story, a journey I can look back on 10 years from now and reminisce, thinking, “Oh, this song was about that person,” or “This one was about that time I was really upset over something.” In a way, I’ve always done this. Even before I started singing, I used to create instrumental tracks and give them abstract titles that reflected whatever I was going through at the time. Now I’m able to take it further and write complete songs that fully encapsulate those moments in my life.
Q: Suppose you would wish to offer your advice to someone experiencing this heart-wrenching phase.
A: I would say that pain does fade with time, and it’s important to tough it out and not let yourself get too consumed by it. It’s also worth remembering that feeling pain is part of the human experience, just like feeling happiness. In those moments, remind yourself that the reason you’re hurting is because you care and love deeply, those are some of life’s greatest gifts. Would you rather never love or care about anyone or anything just to avoid the pain that sometimes comes with it?
Even if you’re not a songwriter, writing things down can be incredibly therapeutic. When I go through tough times, even if it doesn’t turn into a song, I’ll write everything out, whether it’s on paper or in my phone. Sometimes, it’s even more helpful than talking to someone because, when you’re writing for yourself, there’s no need to hold back. You can pour out every thought, every emotion, and let it all out without fear of judgment. It’s such a powerful way to process what you’re feeling. This is actually something I learned from a friend of mine and I’ll never forget how much it helped me especially the first time I did it.
