EXZENYA
Q: “B!tch Please” turns betrayal into a feeling of freedom. When did you realize that this was the direction you wanted the song to take?
When I looked at how it actually ended, which was not how she thought it was going to end.
He convinced her he was getting all this money. He convinced her he was getting the cars. He convinced her he was going to move her into my house. He asked for my wedding ring in court. So, she thought she was getting my life. That is the story she was standing in.
He ended up owing me a ton of money. He got nothing but his truck. I got the cars, the house, I kept my ring, everything, because I was the one that made the money. She got a a man that can’t be faithful or follow through, and that was it.
That is when I knew the song was about being set free, not about being hurt. Hurt is the first draft. The song starts after that draft is thrown out. Once the ending is clear, the chest drops. Relief. Sass. Closure. “You thought you were taking my life. You set me free.” T
Q: The song starts from a very confrontational place but gradually becomes more about self-respect and closure. Was that emotional progression intentional when you were writing it?
Yes. I wanted it to move the way the truth moved.
It opens on her, because she is the one who thought she was stepping into a fantasy life he thought he had. He had convinced her and himself. Money. Cars. My house. The ring he asked for in court. So, the first lines face that. You thought you were getting a sugar daddy. Take a good hard look at me. You’ll never be me. I’m the one with the money honey; it’s not his. Direct. Not hate.
Then it settles into what he actually was. He can’t be faithful. He does not follow through. He’ll roam. That is self-respect. I am saying what the ending already showed.
By the last chorus it is closure. I got the cars, the house, everything. He got his truck. He owed me a ton of money. She got him. You set me free. That order was intentional. The fantasy first, then the man, then the ending. I did not write it to stay in the first heat.
Q: One of the strongest ideas in the song is that someone thought they were taking your life but actually set you free. What does that idea mean to you personally?
That line is about both him and her.
He convinced her he was getting all this money, and he was getting the cars, and he was going to move her into my house. He asked for my wedding ring in court. So, she thought she was getting my life. My ring. My house. My home. My husband. My money. She thought she was taking me out of the picture and stepping into the slot.
What she got was him. Nothing else.
What I got was to keep the life I worked hard for, because I was the one that made the money. The happily-ever-after he promised her never arrived, because he does not follow through and he was not the one who earned the income. He is a sad, troubled man who roams.
“You thought you were taking my life” is the story he sold her. “You set me free” is the when the story unfolds shedding light on the ending’s truth. She did not steal my world. She took the man. The woman in the song is telling her the ending. You came for the life, you left with him. B!tch please.
Q: Instead of presenting the husband as someone worth fighting over, you expose his flaws very openly. Why was that important to the story?
Two reasons; one because she thought he was the upgrade, and he was not. Second, because he truly believed he was going to be awarded alimony and child support and the court would issue me to pay all of his bills and support his new life. None of which was a reality when all was said and done.
He convinced her he was getting the money, the cars, the house. He asked for the ring in court like the life I built was his for the taking and to hand over to someone else. If I leave him looking like a prize, her story still stands. So, the song says what he is. He can’t be faithful. When he was with me, he was already looking elsewhere. He does not follow through. It is just the way he is. He is a sad and troubled man. Not even she can change him. He’ll always roam.
That was important because the ending already proved it. He did not leave with the happily ever life he thought I he’d be awarded. He left owing me money. She got a cheating man, and that was it. Naming the flaws is how the song matches what happened. There was nothing there to fight her for.
Q: There is a strong sense of confidence throughout the lyrics. Was that confidence there from the beginning, or did it come after processing the experience?
It came after processing the experience. The song was written over a decade later. It was looking back and revisiting that situation and those emotions, which I had done for the majority of the songs with the first album. The concept of that first album is an relationship arc, appropriately titled “Story of My Life”.
At the start, the story in B!tch Please, he seduced her with his own fantasy. Convinced her she was getting the life. The confidence in the song is the later voice, the one that already knows how it landed.
That is the voice I wrote from. Sass; good luck – you’re going to need it. A woman who has seen the trade and does not beg, break, or shrink. The confidence is the ending, said clean.
Q: The title phrase “B!tch Please” can sound angry, sarcastic, funny, and dismissive at the same time. What feeling did you most want it to communicate?
Dismissal of the story he told her. Not hate. Not a wish that anybody suffers.
It is sharp. It is sarcastic where the fantasy is absurd. You thought you were getting a sugar daddy. Take a good hard look at me. It can sound funny once you know the ending, because he convinced her he was getting the money and the cars and the house, and he left with his truck and owing money.
“B!tch please” means you thought you were taking my life, and you were not. She got a cheating man and his debt. The phrase is that look back. People may hear anger first. What I wrote was the ending actually trnaspired.
Q: The other woman seems to believe she is stepping into a better life, but you slowly reveal that what she is getting may not be much of a prize. What inspired that reversal?
The reversal is the ending. He ended up owing me, not the other way around as he thought it would be. A man who can’t be faithful, who does not follow through, who will roam; is no prize – he holds you back. I did not have to invent a reversal. He sold her a life that was not his to take, and the ending showed it.
Q: Money and the idea of a “sugar daddy” play an interesting role in the story. Why did you want to challenge that assumption in the lyrics?
Because that was the story he sold her on, and it was backwards.
She thought she was getting a life of luxury. He convinced her he was getting money, cars, and the houses. He asked for my wedding ring in court, so he could give it to her. I put “I’m the one with the money” in the song because that is the fact. I was the one that made the money. I earned the college degrees and have the student loans to prove it. I was the CEO with the businesses. I was the investor .
It is not a brag. It is the correction. He talked like the life was his to give her. It was not. If she came for a sugar daddy, she had the wrong person. The money was mine. Challenging that assumption mattered because otherwise his version gets to stand, and his version is not what happened.
Q: There is also a powerful message about identity and the idea that another person cannot simply replace you. How important was that theme when writing the song?
It is the spine.
You’ll never be me. You thought you could live my life and be me. He convinced her she could. Take the wife out of the picture and step into the slot. The song says no. Sleeping with him does not make her me. Him leaving me for her, does not make her me. Moving into a story he told does not make her me. It makes me free – she released me.
That theme mattered because the ending already said it. She did not become me. I stayed the one who made the money. Identity did not transfer. Without that, the song is just about a man and a failed marriage. I did not write it for that.
Q: The house, the ring, and the altar all represent the life the other woman seems to imagine for herself. Why did you choose those particular images to tell the story?
Because those are the things he put in front of her.
He convinced her he was going to move her into my house. He asked for my wedding ring in court. She thought the altar was coming, the home was coming, the life was coming. I used the house, the ring, and the altar so the listener could see exactly what she thought she was getting.
Then the ending. The house did not become hers. I got the house. The ring did not move to her. He asked for it and still did not leave with the life. The altar did not happen, because he does not follow through. Those images are in the song so the promised life and the real ending can sit next to each other.
Q: One of the most interesting things about the lyrics is that they eventually stop feeling like a competition between two women. Was that something you consciously wanted listeners to understand?
When I wrote the song, it was not about a competition. It was about clocking the situation and naming the truth.
A competition means he is the prize and one of us won. That is the story he fed her. The song takes that apart. She got a cheating man, and that was it. A man who cheats on his wife and leaves his family is not worth the struggle or the fight.
There is nothing to compete for once that is clear. He did not get the best of me. She did not beat me in any competition. She got him; there was never a competition. The song leaves the triangle and stands on the ending.
Q: Karma is a major theme in “B!tch Please,” but it comes more from expecting the same behavior to repeat itself than from wishing revenge on anyone. How do you personally see karma in this story?
As the pattern, not as payback. I am not wishing harm on her. That’s why the question is asked “I gotta know, is that Karma really worth what it costs?”
When the ending arrived, that is the karma. What he said he was getting and what he actually got were not the same thing. He can’t be faithful. He’ll roam. Someday, just like me, he’ll leave you alone, because he can’t help himself.
“Is that karma really worth what it cost?” That is the question. Not a curse. She got him. I kept my life and all that I worked for. He got his truck.
Q: Do you think someone who begins a relationship through cheating can ever completely trust that the same thing will not happen to them?
Not completely, if they are honest with themselves about it.
He convinced her he was getting a life that was not his. The relationship opened on a story that was not a reality. People can change; I am not saying a person cannot. Complete trust is a hard thing to build when the beginning was based on deceit, infidelity, false promises, disillusioned realities.
The song stays with what happened. Not even you can change him. It’s just the way he is. She got a cheating man. He did not leave with what he thought he was getting.
Q: You describe the man as someone who will always roam. Do you see his behavior as a pattern rather than one bad decision?
A pattern. I suspect that he has always been lustful and cannot stay in one place for too long. He has troubles. It is just the way he is.
One bad decision is a night. This is a man who can’t be faithful, who lusts in secret, who says he will follow through and does not. He convinced her he was getting the money and the cars and the house. That is not one slip. That is who he was through the whole thing.
“He’ll always roam” is in the song because the pattern is the point. She signed for that pattern. I kept what I made. That is why this is not a song about getting him back.
Q: There is almost a warning hidden inside the anger toward the other woman. Do you think part of EXZENYA’s voice in the song is actually telling her what she should expect?
Yes, there’s a warning. People are creatures of habit and typically repeat patterns of behavior. If someone cheats, has cheated in the past, cheated more than once; most likely that pattern will continue regardless of who they are with.
That is the ending, said to her. If the pattern is in the lyric too — he roams, he does not follow through — that is because that is what he already was. I am not telling her off. I am saying what she got, what he got, and what I got.
Q: At certain moments, there even seems to be a little pity for the woman who believes she has won. Was that something you felt while writing the lyrics?
Yes, there absolutely are moments of pity for her. She is much younger than him. She was seduced by his disillusions. She thought she was getting the life of her dreams. I knew exactly what she was getting – I had a long history with him. She was getting heartache and disappointment. I, on the other hand, was awarded my freedom.
In the end, she was holding him, not the happily ever after.
That is as far as it goes. I am not hating her, and I am wishing ill on her. B!tch please still stands. You’ll never be me still stands. She came for the life he described. If you really look at it, how can you not have pity for the other woman?
Q: The lyrics are very direct and conversational rather than heavily poetic or abstract. Is writing in a voice that sounds like a real conversation important to you?
Sometimes, when the story line requires it. This one had to sound like a person talking.
Story first. If I had dressed it up, the ending would have disappeared. Those are the words, because those are the facts.
I write every lyric. The song decides the tone, direction, genre, voice, etc. Direct is how this truth stays intact. Bass and vocals as the floor. Sass with a wink and toast. The lyric had to be able to say, plainly: what she thought she was getting and what she got was not the same.
Q: Did writing “B!tch Please” allow you to say things that might have been difficult to say directly to the people involved?
Yes. In a room, people rewrite the ending while you are still in the sentence. He had a version where he was getting the money, the cars, the house, the ring. She had that version too, because he convinced her.
The song holds the real ending in one place. I’m the one with the money. I got to keep everything. He ended up owing me. He got nothing. She got an unfaithful man. You thought you were taking my life. You set me free.
Writing it let me say that clean, in order, without it being turned into a fight or a loss. The song ends on the count.
Q: The idea of being “released” appears again and again. Do you think people sometimes only realize how trapped they were in a relationship once it finally ends?
Often, yes. While you are in it, you are often “stuck” in the emotions of it. You love the person, you want your marriage to work, you have children, assets, a life that took years to build. That is not an easy thing to think about dismantling. You typically see what you gain to loose opposed to what you might actual gain to win.
“Released me” keeps coming back because of that ending. Once out of the situation, and the hurt and anger are in the past; it is a lot easier to see that the marriage and the person was holding you back from becoming a better version of yourself with a much happier life. A lot of people do not feel it until the door is open and the count is done. The repetition is so that part does not get sung past.
Q: What was the hardest emotion to put into words while writing this song: anger, betrayal, relief, or acceptance?
Looking back, I would have to say relief.
It is easy to hold onto anger and hate and let it eat away at you. It is much more challenging, but much more rewarding, to sigh and lift a champagne toast in relief. The body unclenching because the worst version of the story did not happen – you worry about losing everything, and it is relief when that does not happen. She did not take the life. He did not leave with it. I had to write it specific enough that it could not be mistaken for anything else.
Q: Was there a particular moment during the writing process when the song stopped feeling like a breakup song and started feeling like an empowerment song?
I never intended it to be a breakup song; it was a clocking – disillusion versus reality.
“I’m the one with the money. B!tch please. You set me free.” That is not a letter to him, and it is not a fight with her. It is the fact. I made the money. I created that life.
Empowerment here is the song standing on the truth of what happened in the end.
Q: The final message suggests that a person who cheats on their wife and leaves their family is simply not worth fighting for. Was reaching that realization an important part of the song’s emotional closure?
It is the closure.
A man who cheats on his wife and leaves his family is not worth the struggle or the fight. The ending already said why. There was nothing there worth fighting for.
I needed that said in full so the song could end. Not as an insult. He was not worth the struggle of hoping he’d be faithful to just me. He was not worth fight of trying to keep him from leaving then or some other day. I kept the life because I was the one that made that life for myself, not for him. That is the close.
Q: Do you hope listeners who have experienced infidelity will hear “B!tch Please” and reconsider what they believe they have actually lost?
Yes.
A lot of people do the first count. They think they lost their life, because that is the story the other person sold them on. I want the song to make people take a good hard look at themselves and see they are worth a much more meaningful ending .
If a listener can separate what someone threatened to take from what actually left, the chorus did the job. You may have been released from a future not worth fighting for, not robbed of it.
Q: Compared with “Drunk Texting,” this song shows another side of your storytelling. What do these two songs tell us about the kind of lyricist you want EXZENYA to be?
“Drunk Texting” came from a real funny situation and it needed satire, pop, R&B, comedy-sketch timing. “B!tch Please” came from this ending and wanted teeth. Blues-rock, mid-tempo, story first, sass that says I am toasting a good luck to you because I have been set free from the pattrn. Same writer. Same rule. Whatever tone, genre, or voice the song requires, the story and the emotion speak the lane.
I do not want either song sanded down. “Drunk Texting” would not be the same if the comical absurdities had been removed. “B!tch Please” would not have been a “hey look at me now, I have a much better life – thank you” if it did not have the blues rock teeth with a bite and a champagne toast. That is the lyricist I want Exzenya to be. Say what happened. Let the lyrics and the story lead the sound.
Q: If someone finishes listening to “B!tch Please” after going through their own betrayal or difficult breakup, what do you hope they take away from the words?
Being able to breathe again, not to feel suffocated. Let go of anger, revenge, hate; those things that hold us back and impede us from becoming happier-better versions of ourselves.
