EXZENYA
Q1: How did the idea for “The Fans Applauded” first come to you, and was it inspired by a specific real-life moment on stage?
The idea came from how I imagine things would be. I’ve never performed singing live because of severe stage fright, so there isn’t a specific real-life moment on stage. Instead, the song is exactly how I see it playing out in my head: the intense fear and panic of standing there frozen, followed by the beautiful moment where the audience starts singing along and applauding, lifting me through it. It’s the scene I’ve visualized many times — the fear is very real, but the breakthrough and connection is what I picture happening when I finally step on stage.
Q2: When you wrote about that feeling of being surrounded by people but still feeling alone, what emotions were you trying to capture most honestly?
I was trying to capture that deep, suffocating loneliness even when you’re surrounded by a crowd. The feeling that no one understands what you’re going through — that the fear is so overwhelming and you’re the only one feeling it. Everyone else in the room seems fine, but inside you’re completely alone with this panic. Nobody knows how heavy it is, how helpless you feel, or how much you’re afraid you’re going to mess everything up. In that moment you just want to cry because the isolation feels so intense. That’s what I wanted to express honestly — the sense that you’re trapped inside your own fear while the world keeps moving around you.
Q3: There is a strong sense of inner panic in the beginning of the song. How close is that to what you have personally experienced before performing?
It’s extremely close — almost exactly what I’ve felt. The pounding heart that’s so loud it’s all you can hear, the body completely locking up, the mind going blank right when you’re supposed to start. I’ve experienced this in public speaking and training sessions where I was supposed to lead, and it’s the main reason I haven’t performed singing live yet. That opening panic in the song isn’t exaggerated — it’s pulled straight from real moments I’ve lived through.
Q4: There is a strong sense of inner panic in the beginning of the song. How close is that to what you have personally experienced before performing?
It’s extremely close — almost exactly what I’ve felt. The pounding heart that’s so loud it’s all you can hear, the body completely locking up, the mind going blank right when you’re supposed to start. I’ve experienced this in public speaking and training sessions where I was supposed to lead, and it’s the main reason I haven’t performed singing live yet.
That opening panic in the song comes straight from real moments I’ve lived through. At the same time, the feeling itself is so overwhelming and intense that it’s super challenging to pin down and explain properly. I was really concerned whether I expressed it well enough in the song, because it’s not an easy feeling to capture.
Q5: You describe fear almost as something physical. Do you usually feel emotions in such a tangible way when you’re writing lyrics?
Yes, always. I feel emotions very physically when I write — especially fear. My brain works in moving pictures, so when I’m writing about it I actually experience the tightness in my chest, the racing heart, the nausea like I want to throw up, the headache, starting to sweat, my body heating up, and that terrifying feeling like I’m going to pass out or have an out-of-body experience. It feels like something physically bad is about to happen. It’s not just an idea in my head — it’s a full-body experience. That’s how the lyrics become honest and detailed, because I’m sitting right in the middle of that overwhelming feeling while I’m writing it.
Q6: At the start, there’s a lot of self-doubt and fear of judgment. Where do you think those thoughts tend to come from for you as an artist?
Those thoughts come from the deep vulnerability of putting my real voice and my real self out there. As a solo artist who writes every lyric and sings every note herself, there’s nowhere to hide. I think a lot of it also stems from past experiences where I froze in front of people, combined with that inner critic that says “what if they don’t like me? What if they laugh?” It’s the fear of being truly seen and judged for something that means so much to me. Even though I know it’s not always rational, those thoughts still show up strongly when I think about performing.
Q7: The moment where the audience begins to sing along feels like a turning point. Did something like that ever happen to you in real life?
Not yet in a singing performance, because I haven’t stepped on stage to sing live. But I’ve experienced versions of that exact moment in public speaking and training sessions — that powerful shift when the energy in the room changes and people start supporting you. It’s what I picture and hold onto for when I finally perform. In the song, that’s the moment I’ve imagined so many times: the audience stepping in and carrying me through the fear.
Q8: How important is the connection with your audience when it comes to finding confidence in your performances?
It’s incredibly important — honestly, it’s everything to me. In the song, the courage doesn’t come from me alone. It comes from the audience stepping in, singing along, and showing me they’re with me. That connection is what changes the entire moment from fear to strength.
It’s the same in real life. The support I’ve already received from listeners through comments, messages, and streams has given me more confidence than I could have found on my own. That relationship between artist and audience is at the very heart of this song and my journey as a whole.
Q9: In the song, courage starts as something small and fragile. Why was it important for you to show it that way instead of making it feel instant or powerful?
Because that’s how real courage actually feels – for me and I’d imagine for most people. It doesn’t arrive like a sudden burst of confidence or superhero strength. It starts as a tiny, shaky “little voice of courage” — just enough to take one ragged breath and keep going.
I wanted it to feel honest and human, not Hollywood-dramatic. Showing courage as something small and fragile at first makes the journey more real. It grows gradually with the support of the audience, which is exactly how I imagine it will happen when I finally step on stage.
Q10: There’s a clear shift from isolation to connection. How do you personally experience that change when you’re on stage?
I haven’t yet experienced it fully on a singing stage because I haven’t performed live as a vocalist. But I’ve felt that exact shift in public speaking and training sessions. It’s like the air in the room suddenly changes. One moment you feel completely alone and exposed, like you’re the only one struggling. The next moment, when people start responding positively — nodding, smiling, engaging — you realize you’re not alone. You’re actually sharing the moment with them. That shift from isolation to connection is incredibly powerful and freeing. It’s what I visualize and hold onto for when I finally step on stage to sing.
Q11: When you wrote about wanting to run and hide, were you thinking about a specific memory or more of a general feeling?
It’s more of a general, recurring feeling I’ve had many times. That strong instinct to run and hide when the fear becomes overwhelming — wanting to disappear from the situation entirely. I also don’t like conflict and try to avoid it as much as possible, so it brings up that same type of fear and anxiety.
It’s not so much about being in a room with a group of people (I’m actually fine in board meetings or regular group settings). It’s specifically when I’m the one center stage, with the spotlight on me, and I’m the one who has to speak, perform, and carry the moment. That’s when the fear hits hardest.
Q12: The idea that fear can block purpose is very present in the lyrics. Have you ever felt like fear stopped you from doing something important?
Yes, absolutely. Fear stopped me from fully stepping into music for a very long time. Even though music has always been part of my soul — I’ve written poems, stories, and songs since I was young — the fear of performing and putting my voice out there held me back for decades. It kept me from releasing music and especially from ever singing live. I knew it was my purpose, but the fear was stronger for a long time. Only in the last couple of years did I finally decide to face it, start vocal lessons, learn production, and actually release music. So yes — fear has definitely blocked something that feels very important to me.
I see it as a true partnership — almost like a living, breathing thing. At first the audience can feel intimidating because they represent judgment and pressure. But when they shift to being supportive — singing along, applauding, showing they’re with you — everything changes. They stop being “the watchers” and become co-creators of the moment.
For me, the relationship is about mutual support. I give them my honest story and vulnerability, and they give me the courage and energy to keep going. That connection turns a solo performance into something shared. It’s no longer just me on stage — we’re in it together. That’s the heart of the song.
Q14: The song suggests that sometimes confidence comes from others first. Do you feel that external support has shaped your growth as an artist?
Yes, very much so. External support has shaped my growth more than anything else.
The comments, messages, streams, and encouragement I’ve received from listeners since my first releases have given me courage I couldn’t find on my own. In the song, the audience’s response is what helps the artist find her voice again — and that’s exactly how it’s been for me. Knowing people are connecting with my music and rooting for me has been the biggest push to keep going, to keep releasing, and to keep moving toward performing live. That external belief has been a huge part of my journey as an artist.
Q15: Your lyrics talk about challenging the “lies” you believed about yourself. What kind of thoughts were you referring to there?
The “lies” are all those harsh, negative thoughts that fear whispers in your head — things like “they’re all going to laugh at you,” “your voice isn’t good enough,” “you’re going to mess this up,” or “you don’t belong here.”
Those are the lies I believed for a long time. They tell you that you’re alone, that people are judging you harshly, and that you’re not capable. In the song, the moment the audience responds positively, those lies start to lose their power. I wanted to show that shift — realizing those thoughts were never the full truth.
Q16: How do you usually work through moments of doubt when you’re creating or performing?
When doubt hits while I’m creating or thinking about performing, I stop and sit with it for a moment instead of fighting it. I let the movie scene play out in my head until the emotion feels clear again. For creating, I’ve learned to capture ideas the second they come — even if I’m driving or at the gym — by singing the melody or lyrics into my phone or quickly writing them down.
For performing, the doubt is louder. In those moments I remind myself that the fear doesn’t mean I’m not supposed to be there. I focus on the vision I have of the audience supporting me, and I take one small step anyway — one breath, one line, one note. I’ve learned that courage doesn’t always feel strong; it often feels shaky at first. So I work through it by staying honest with the feeling and moving forward even while the fear is still there.
Q17: There’s a strong emotional release when your voice finally comes through. What does that moment feel like for you personally?
It feels like a huge release — like finally breaking through a wall I’ve been pushing against for a long time. There’s relief, because the fear that was holding everything inside finally loosens its grip. There’s also power and joy mixed in, like my real voice is finally free to come out and fill the space.
Even though the fear is still there, in that moment it feels like I’m no longer fighting it alone. It’s exhilarating and emotional at the same time — almost like taking a full, deep breath after holding it for too long. That’s the feeling I tried to capture when the voice finally resonates through the hall.
Q18: The applause in the song feels almost like a character of its own. What does applause mean to you beyond just appreciation?
To me, applause in this song is much more than just clapping or appreciation. It represents acceptance, validation, and belonging. It’s the moment the audience stops being “the watchers” who might judge me and becomes a supportive force that says “we see you, we hear you, and we want you here.”
It’s the sound that breaks the isolation and quiets the fear. In the song, the applause is almost like a living character that lifts me up and gives me permission to keep going. It turns a solo, scary moment into something shared and powerful.
Q19: You describe a kind of energy shift where fear turns into something empowering. How do you channel that energy in real life?
I try to redirect that energy into action instead of letting it paralyze me. When I feel that fear turning into something stronger, I use it as fuel — whether that’s sitting down to write, recording a new idea, or pushing myself one step closer to performing.
In everyday life, I channel it by moving forward even while the fear is still present. I remind myself that the “fearless rage” in the song is the same intensity I can use to create, to build my businesses, or to keep showing up. It doesn’t mean the fear disappears, but I’ve learned to let it propel me rather than stop me.
Q20: How do you stay present in a moment like the one described in the song, instead of getting lost in your thoughts?
I stay present by treating the whole scene like a movie playing in my head. As I’m singing, I see it frame by frame — the frozen feeling on stage, the racing heart, the shift when the audience starts singing, the applause — and I move with it moment by moment. I’m not just singing the words; I’m describing, vocalizing, and physically feeling every emotion and sensation as the “movie” unfolds in real time. That visual way of experiencing the song keeps me anchored in the moment instead of spiraling into my thoughts.
Q21: Do you think vulnerability on stage is something that audiences can feel and connect with more deeply?
Yes, I believe they can — and they do. When you’re truly vulnerable and honest on stage, people don’t just hear the words, they feel the emotion with you. There’s something powerful about seeing someone willing to show their real fear, their real struggle, instead of pretending to be perfect.
That kind of openness creates a deeper connection. Audiences can relate to it because they’ve felt those same things in their own lives. In “The Fans Applauded,” I wanted to show that vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s what allows the connection and support to come in. I think people connect more deeply when they sense you’re being real with them.
Q22: The idea of belonging becomes very important toward the end. How has your sense of belonging as an artist evolved over time?
It has evolved a lot. When I first started releasing music, I still felt like an outsider — like I was stepping into a world I didn’t fully belong in yet, especially with the fear of performing holding me back.
Over the last couple of years, as I’ve released more songs and heard from listeners who connect with the stories and emotions, that sense of belonging has grown. The messages, the streams, and the support have shown me that there is a place for my voice and my kind of storytelling.
Now, especially with a song like “The Fans Applauded,” I feel like I belong more than ever — not because the fear is gone, but because I’m starting to see that the audience wants me there. Belonging, for me, is no longer something I have to earn by being perfect. It comes from showing up honestly and realizing people are rooting for me.
Q23: What role does storytelling play in your songwriting, especially in a song like The Fans Applauded?
Storytelling is at the very center of my songwriting. I don’t just write lyrics — I see full scenes playing like a movie in my head, and then I try to translate those visuals and emotions into words and music.
In “The Fans Applauded,” the entire song is built as a story that unfolds in real time: the heavy silence and panic at the beginning, the internal battle, the turning point when the audience responds, and the final shift into courage and connection. I wanted listeners to feel like they were standing on that stage with me, experiencing every moment as it happened. That cinematic, moment-by-moment storytelling is how I connect with people and how I process my own experiences.
Q24: When listeners hear this song, what do you hope they take away from that journey from fear to courage?
I hope they recognize themselves in that feeling — that moment when you’re in your own head, overwhelmed by fear and self-doubt, convinced you’re alone and about to fail. And then, through the song, they feel the shift: realizing you’re not alone, that there are people who support you, who want to see you succeed.
I want them to walk away understanding that courage doesn’t have to be loud or perfect. It can start small and fragile, and it often grows when others step in and show they’re with you. Most of all, I hope it gives them a little hope — that the fear they feel doesn’t have to win, and that connection can help carry them through it.
Q25: Looking back at the lyrics now, do they still reflect how you feel today, or have your emotions around performing changed since then?
They still reflect exactly how I feel today. The fear is still very real — I haven’t performed live yet, and just thinking about stepping on stage can still trigger that same panic and self-doubt.
What has changed is that I now have more hope and clarity around it. Writing and releasing this song, along with the support I’ve received from listeners, has strengthened my belief that the breakthrough I describe — the moment the audience lifts me — can actually happen. The lyrics are still my truth, but they also feel like a roadmap I’m actively walking toward. The emotions haven’t disappeared, but I’m no longer letting them stop me completely.
