NICK BOEDER
Q When you look back at It Was All For You, what feeling from that time comes back to you the strongest?
A: I wrote the song during the lockdown period of 2021-2022. Overall, I was navigating the confusion of that time and seeking to organize and make sense of the world and my life.
Q The song returns again and again to the idea that everything was done out of love. Why was it important for you to center the lyrics around that thought?
A: The breakup I went through never included hatred or happened because we didn’t love one another. It was the result of my own unresolved pain and a series of misunderstandings. Looking back, with the clarity I achieved following the loss, it was really difficult to understand how we had come apart.
Q The lyrics avoid blaming one side and instead show shared pain. Was that balance something you worked toward while writing?
A: The balance that emerged lyrically, of the two people sharing the pain of the loss, revealed itself after I wrote the song. Sometimes when breakups happen, though each person may bear responsibility, there also seem to be forces outside the union that undermine the relationship. I just heard a conversation between two people who loved one another but couldn’t make it work.
Q At what point did you realize the song needed to feel like a conversation rather than a single point of view?
A: Yes, when I wrote the song I initially was singing it by myself. However, it felt redundant lyrically and seemed like I was repeating the same sentiments throughout. And then it just clicked that it was a two-part song and a conversation between a man and a woman. This opened up the song in a huge way, with each voice sharing similar sentiments, but from their individual vantage point.
Q How did the duet format change the way you thought about the emotional story of the song?
A: The duet just opened up the song by breaking up the themes and sentiments expressed throughout. It captured the way in which, often, when a breakup happens, both sides bear a similar struggle and share in the pain.
Q The idea of not knowing or avoiding the truth appears several times. Why does that theme resonate so strongly with you?
A: The themes of not knowing or avoiding the truth resonate with me because when I looked back on the loss of this relationship I truly was unconscious. It was a humbling realization that I had made mistakes and injured the relationship as a result of my own lack of awareness and presence.
Q How much of the song is about regret versus acceptance?
A: I think the song hovers pretty strongly around regret, honestly. Like a vacant, final plea to a vast universe. Two people separated by time and space, wrestling with what could have been. There is acceptance, but it is not complete and free of the pain of regret.
Q The sadness in the lyrics feels calm rather than explosive. Was that tone intentional from the start?
A: The way sadness is expressed, and the emotional tone overall, is what I really like about the song. Though the lyrics are pointed and heavy they are not delivered in a melodramatic way. The rhythm and groove are really important to the song and are not distracted by an overly-emotional vocal delivery.
Q Did writing this song help you process the end of something, or did it come after you had already made peace with it?
A: I think I had basically made peace with the loss of the breakup by the time I wrote the song. Regret is funny and lingers and returns from time to time. But I was resolved. The unique gift of “It Was All For You” was how it became the final piece of the puzzle that was the album I was making at that time. It was the song that resolved the record, which was centered around this relationship and the woman I lost.
Q Time feels like a quiet force in the song, slowly changing everything. How do you see time shaping the story in the lyrics?
A: The passage of time, and reflection, are central within pretty much all of my songs. The clarity that reflection brings seems to be the force that allows the songs I write to come through. I don’t really write songs about situations or difficulties I face, as I am going through them. The song is typically a summary of an event or loss after it has been traversed.
Q How did working with Sarah influence the emotional depth of the lyrics?
A: Sarah Joelle is the incredible voice on “It Was All For You”. Her role within the song, and many of my other songs, is essential to my artistic vision. She is the echo of the love I lost, the wise perspective of the heart of the woman I am grieving in much of my work. She brings a necessary emotional quality to my songs that could only come through her unique voice.
Q Do you think the song would mean something different if it were not a duet?
A: I have found that though I am the author of my songs, they each contain an in-born intelligence all their own. I don’t think the song would work if I sang it alone because it would have lacked the essential truth and character of who “It Was All For You” was born to be.
Q Many listeners connect to the feeling of trying but still falling apart. Why do you think that experience is so universal?
A: That’s a deep question. Ultimately, I think human beings are unconscious often. For all of our gifts, insightful abilities and awareness, we are often strangers to our own selves. I think there are forces that influence our lives and relationships that we are not always aware of, but beholden to. It can be confusing and quite humbling to be human.
Q Looking back now, do the lyrics feel like a reflection of who you were then or who you are now?
A: I think the lyrics came through as a reflection of the man I became after the breakup. As much as I write about events that happened in the past, the words I write are always a distillation of the moment to which I have arrived. My songs always come through in the present moment.
Q What do you hope listeners take away from the shared sadness expressed in the song?
A: I hope listeners relate and connect with the song in their own unique ways. I attempt to write songs that, though derived from my very unique experiences, are expressed in a universal way. I hope people find themselves appreciating a song that has a unique rhythmic pattern and sway, but that also strikes a true, emotional chord.
