SINSEER
I remember as I was given the idea for the song, that we are to try and walk as this life as Christ did. He was made perfect so we will never be able to fill those shoes – they’re too big. Combining that with a song I’ve heard previously with the lyric, “…got some really big shoes to fill,” it stuck out to me more as a challenge than a limitation. There are many references to the path we walk in the Bible, and most people I know wear shoes when they do.
My daily life now revolves around those two focuses. While I have many things yet to overcome, I am alive today by His grace and sparing my life while drunk behind a wheel. That grace allowed me to continue breathing this gift of life, and so I’ve learned to surrender to Him for the benefit of what good has come, and will continue to do so.
Prayer. That has been the single most definitive weapon proven effective in my recent life compared to past experiences. During this 11 month sobriety journey, I’ve been faced with many different challenges to overcome. My faith has proven time and time again that prayer and building my relationship with God will help during those times. The circle at my recovery program also holds some amazing power.
More recently it has been drawn from the personal side of life. Addiction and emotional immaturity played a major role in my life for decades. I’ve been navigating through a dark journey of my actions. As a whole, I have always seen life this way having grown up in the church. Knowing the existence of the spiritual realm and the raging war constantly in tussle shaped my heart and perspective in a certain way.
Healing had to happen first. Without the application of deep, painful healing, I wouldn’t have the understanding that I do now to help encourage the lives of others. The life I led was of selfish desire and traumatic response. Now I hope to be a vessel for God’s work to show the world that hope – real hope – can still exist.
Oh, man. Without forgiveness, I don’t think that I would have made it this far. First and foremost, forgiveness from the Father above. I needed saving from my life of immorality. Then in no particular order, forgiveness for/from others, and forgiveness of self. The last one I still struggle hard with knowing some of the things I’ve done. That’s when I remind myself of the first part of the link.
Seeking out God’s help is where it all leads back to. Before reaching out to the source of truth, my life never felt any sense of worth. At times I’d find a temporary situation to dilute the imminent disappointment in life, but it never worked. Since I asked for help, I’ve discovered many pains and traumas, and how my actions affected not only others, but myself, as well.
Good question. I think this can only be answered by saying that each journey is different, but we are unified as one body under Christ. We all have the same role as far as how we are to follow His example, but how that happens is uniquely personal to each one of us.
Funny – I was thinking on this one day, and how my writing has become much more free-flowing since returning to my faith. Before, I would try to write for the response of the audience through what I say. I would still use my storytelling but writing more as the listener than the author. My gift of writing now combines both elements in a means of necessity. It’s the foundation to each song structure – my faith, and how my gift can use my life to exemplify my walk, spiritually.
This is definitely a turning point in the catalogue. Big Shoes is a declaration to now live my best efforts to fulfill the responsibilities of walking this path. My music has never been so definitively faith-founded.
Recovery has taught me balance, taking good with the bad. Songs like Big Shoes provide those moments to reflect. Reflections of, not only where I’ve come from and the good work that has been done within, but the hopeful excitement of where I may be headed. In turn, that helps identify what other new struggles there are to hurdle, and have a better understanding to approach whatever they may be.
No one will ever fill the shoes. That needs to be understood, first. Jesus walked this earth in true perfection, something none of us will ever attain or accomplish. Big Shoes is more about the journey than the destination, striving each day to be more like Christ’s example. As we grow in the walk and relationship with Him, we learn to love as He loves, and hates as He hates. It’s learning to walk in truth and discard our character that withhold us from that.
