LAUGHING CATS

Q: “Cool Hand Lucy” is just such an excellent example of introspection and personal growth. How did you come to write this song?

I tend to write about what I’ve lived. I This song is directly about someone in my past. Our next song, “Love On Fire” coming out in another month or so, is also about the same person. They are the only two songs on the album about him.

Q: The theme of “perfection” is at the forefront of this song. How has your own approach to perfection changed over time?

That particular line that you are referring to goes, “With your utopian idea of perfection, yeah, you were cuter with your own direction back then”. It’s about his ideological personality. Ideologies are social or political goals, result oriented, not truth driven. But when he was young, he understood philosophy better, which is the pursuit of truth.

Q: The lyrics convey sacrifice and risk within the relationship. Looking back, do you have any regrets about what you did then?

I have absolutely zero regrets. I used to wish I might run into him one day, just to look him in the face with zero emotion. But even that desire is long faded. I basically have it all these days. I’m very lucky. The relationship was a pivotal one that led me here, and I’m grateful for it, but glad it’s in the past.

Q: You’ve written about the change in your life, becoming “Mama.” How has motherhood helped you think differently about relationships today?

Motherhood helps every aspect of life. It teaches you patience, listening, wisdom, and most of all, it’s the best place to put all of your infinite love. I’m lucky to have a husband that I can also put all my love into and it comes back to me. A lot of people have kids with the wrong guy and co-parenting is tough. I see it in my friends. They don’t have a partner to share that love with. So I’m super grateful I never married that guy from my past, or had his children, because we would have ended up divorced anyway.

Q: How was it to realize that the relationship, had it continued, would not have worked out as you had originally envisioned?

It is such a relief! It’s amazing how time reveals truth, isn’t it?

Q: The line “It’s a good thing you never came back” is a sort of watershed moment of realization. Can you tell me about that moment of realization?

After we broke it off, he moved back to London, where he is orginally from. Our breakup was pretty definite. But there was a time that I worried about him coming back to New York and calling me.

Q: On record, there’s some terrific introspection about the good times and the bad times. Was it difficult to find that balance between looking back and moving forward?

I would say that if I had never met the love of my life and had two gorgeous kids, I might be still wander into a fantasy about those days. But we are so different in our values, which time has revealed, so it makes it real easy to not have any desire to wallow in the past. That said, I obviously will always hold a special place in my heart for him.

Q: The song has a melancholy sound, but also relief. How do you capture complicated emotions like that in writing?

I just write what is real! Emotions are complex. I get in touch with my center when I write, and craft something that is directly from the well.

Q: The song’s message seems to be one of closure. How do you, yourself, find closure in old relationships?

Good question. I don’t think you find closure right away with most relationships. Even after you meet the right person, there can be pieces of you that tug on the past if not fully closed. I truly have closure with every love I had in the past. But this one I probably held onto the longest. Time has shown that he’s a hypocrite. That made it pretty easy to let go!

Q: To what extent is it important for you to present personal experiences through your music? Is there perhaps a part of you that becomes healed by the process?

I honestly wish I could write more like Kurt Cobain sometimes: nonsensical poetry, as he proudly descbribed his own writing. But that is not me. And yes, after I write a song, whatever it’s about seems to be instantly healed. It’s amazing actually.

Q: Is there a particular portion of the song that means a great deal more or is personally significant to you?

Hmm, another great question. Probably the Brooklyn Bridge. That night has so many memories for me for so many different and complex reasons.

Q: Do you believe your approach to relationships has evolved since writing “Cool Hand Lucy”?

I’ve been married to the love of my life for 13 years. That is a long time! We have been through a lot. Our relationship only gets better with time. But I would say to anyone married: do what you love, because if you are doing what it is you love, it will only make you a better person for your relationship. And never stop trying to beat your own best.

Q: The imagery of rain on the Brooklyn Bridge adds so much to the emotional resonance of the song. Was that something you envisioned in your head when you were writing, or did it come to you organically?

Oh that is a literal memory during that relationship. We were both actors, and we would bike from Brooklyn to our shows on Wednesdays and Sundays. One Wednesday, we had an argument and he biked way ahead of me (he was so emotional and, frankly, rude). So I biked back on my own, in the rain. When I got to the Brooklyn Bridge he was there waiting for me. He apologized and we stood there in the rain, hugging. It was one of those moments you never forget where you sort of have an existential experience of “this is happening to me right now” where the earth feels like it is embracing you.

Q: How do you think the idea of “sacrificing everything” in a relationship relates to what you feel about love now?

When you love somebody that much, you’re willing to put your life on the same path as that person, which might require sacrifice on your part. In my marriage now, I had to sacrifice my acting career and move away from New York, which was a very difficult decision. I could have gone on acting forever. But I loved my husbnad and kids more. I don’t regret any of it. I sometimes feel like the luckiest woman on earth.

Q: You say you cringe at the manner in which this individual treats others. Has this experience changed the way you engage with people in relationships now?

Seeing the way he views the world and how he talks about the world, how he engaged with others at the time we were together, really makes it the most easy to not have any undone feelings for him. None of us are perfect. I’m not perfect. My husband isn’t perfect. But you have to work on evolving your mind, body and soul, otherwise, you become a burden on others, or you become an intolerant curmedgeon.

Q: The song is such a raw look back at the past. How does it feel to reflect on it and know that it’s something others will listen to and identify with?

I certainly hope others relate to it. It’s the goal: to have a shared experience with humanity. I am a raw person. I like authenticity. It’s how I roll.

Q: What do you hope people get out of hearing “Cool Hand Lucy”? Is there something you hope they take away from it?

I hope that it is relatable to many. I hope anyone who might be in a relationship that they know isn’t right, may be given hope that letting go now can lead to great things. And more than anything, I hope people just like jamming to it and singing along.

Q: If you could say one thing to the person who inspired “Cool Hand Lucy,” what would it be?

Wow, what would I say? I’ve thought about this for a very long time. I wouldn’t say what I would REALLY want to say. I’d probably just smile and ask him benign questions and end it with, “It was nice to see you”.