BAD BUBBLE

Q: Can you tell us what inspired you to write Iowa and how the song came to life?

Iowa was something that had to be said. It’s probably the most difficult topic but the song came easy. I chose my words very carefully for this one. I wanted to basically sing a poem, which essentially it is…It’s a goodbye. Not to someone or someplace….but to making music, which is a large piece of myself. Having to give up what makes me, me. I haven’t discussed this with many people because I know what they would say. They would (I imagine) say not to leave. But very few if any know the whole story. 

Iowa came to life sounding much different. It was very crisp and polished. Exactly how I didn’t want it. I wanted it to sound old and murky. Like the Mississippi River in the 1980’s. If you listen, it sounds muffled. I love it. The character it adds is a side effect. The main goal was for Iowa to sound like wisdom. Wisdom is not fresh and crisp. It is very war weary and tired. I think this was captured beautifully in my opinion. With a year or so left on the end of my career, allow me a couple of places here and there to pat myself on the back as no one else ever will. 

Q: The lyrics in Iowa seem to reflect a lot of personal struggle. Was there one experience that influenced this song?

It’s the nightmare I never wanted to face. I will no longer be an artist. I will fall into obscurity and mediocrity. If people look at me, they see the shades and the mohawk and a person that stands out. I assure you, in day-to-day life, I’m the exact opposite. No one notices me. And I mean every word of that. I know what is going to happen. And it is very hard for me to accept. It will be the hardest pill of my life to swallow. A large part of me does not want it. I am very defiant in this regard. It’s sad. It’s a crying shame because I feel as if I have so much more to offer. So much more to do. But time counts one way. Iowa is about giving up the one good thing I have which I do well. Whether or not it’s good is a different topic. But if someone did notice the work I’ve done over the last three years, they would find someone’s entire life’s work neatly wrapped up. And there is so much in there. But I’ll have to digress. 

Q: In the song, you talk about having “no regret, no remorse, no anxiety.” How did you reach that level of acceptance?

I thought that if I gave Bad Bubble everything I had, if I fail, I would have the aforementioned. 

To an extent, its true and it helps. But I do have all three. I will always think there is some rock I didn’t turn over. Some person out there which if I were maybe nicer to, they had a friend of a friend of a friend….I’ll always think there was something else I could have done…I didn’t want there to be any of that. I need to make peace with something I cannot make peace with. Having things like this eat at me for the rest of my life is not something I’m signing up for. It’s hard enough without the regrets or second guesses. But I’m not sure if I’m built to not do that

Q: How does the concept of building something you love, only to let it go, reflect your own artistic journey?

At this point, I would say it sums it up. That’s all I’ve done. In the end. I got all dressed up with nowhere to go. I don’t know how else anyone could view it. You can’t accept something like this. Not this. Anything and everything but this because it means so much to me. Without that hope…I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll be listening to music ever again. I feel as if it turned its back on me. So, in turn I will turn my back on it. That’s the one good thing about not having a goddamn thing in this world that fits. I’m very used to it. 

Q: You’ve talked about wanting authenticity in your music. In what ways do you think that authenticity is captured in Iowa?

I’m honest in 100% of my content. Even the content I have which is not as serious as others are all still honest. I suppose Iowa is not special in this regard. However, I believe what you’re referring to is organic music played with my fingers. No samples, ever. I don’t really even know what a sample is. Nor do I know why anyone would want to do that. Something that always just seems to baffle me is places with “beats for sale”. This apparently is where we are. But, I digress. What you hear are my fingers on the keys. This album was entirely recorded with a 24 channel TASCAM mixing board. Old school. I do takes. I mess up, I start over. Doing things this way has turned me into one hell of a piano player. In August, 2021, I didn’t know how to play the piano. I released my first track in January, 2022. Since then, I just play things over and over and over. When you do that with anything, you build skill. I thought that would be at the very least intriguing. But it’s not. People say they want authenticity, but they don’t. How can someone who watches the average video for 2.8 seconds claim to want authenticity? At some point, the fault must be placed on the listener, as unpopular as that may be. 

Q: The goodbye in Iowa feels very personal. Was it toward someone or something specific in your life?

It is a last goodbye to a large part of me. There’s no “non emo” way to say it and at the risk of depressing everyone, it’s something I must do. I have to turn my back on this….all of it. I had my chance. I’ve learned there never was any chance to have. But I am grateful for one thing. If I wouldn’t have done this, I wouldn’t know what Future 9 is. Or what Digital Zero sounds like. Or what Iowa is. or the Conclusion. Or Flor….It’s all so goddamn sad but I can’t do this anymore. Write my heart out for the average 3.4 seconds people can stay attentive. It’s not worth it. I’m literally killing myself and destroying the people around me. I do not write click bait. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to capitulate to anyone and try to “rope them in” in 3.4 seconds. That practice is not who I am. Some things in life are worth more than 3.4 seconds. And I know I am not special. I never said I was. But after 3 years non stop without a day off, I was hoping to convince people I was worth the extra time. I was wrong. 

Q: How do you really feel about the relationship between failure and growth, as it’s implied here?

I learned it is like everything else, but it changed somewhere along the way. The music business is pretty much gone. What’s left are simulators and those who love to simulate. Gone are the rock stars. Gone are the guitar players. Gone are the fans. Gone are the labels. Gone is the accountability. Gone are the standards. Now, anyone can simulate what took someone else years of military like discipline and a thirst to be the very best in the world to undertake. Now, anyone can buy a laptop and simulate it. It’s gone. All of it is gone. So, to grow in this business, I’m starting to wonder if I would really want to. What would that mean? “Congratulations, you are the best simulator in the business of ever evolving theft and simulation technology”. No need for a singer. Unless it comes with the laptop. Failure to me was to compromise any of what I mentioned earlier and succeed. That is not growth. That is filling your social media accounts with bots. Go ahead, but don’t be surprised if I laugh when you have 250k followers and 2 reposts after 48 hours. That is not the growth I will tolerate. I didn’t grow. I failed. But my integrity is right here where it always has been. I’ll walk out with it just as I walked in with it…

Q: Do you believe the themes in Iowa are relatable to others out there-who have faced similar struggles to try and build something meaningful?

I hope not. I truly hope not. I wouldn’t wish this shit on anyone. If there is someone out there that wanted something so bad, they said screw it and went out and got it. No doors open up? You build a door yourself and kick it down.

Then find out there is nothing behind the door. There never was. It left a long time ago. There’s nothing in the world you can do to fix it no matter what. It’s gone. Now you must turn around, face forward, and try as hard as you possibly can to find a purpose to fill the void where your dream was. You have to fill that…

I don’t wish it on anyone and I truly hope to God no one ever as any reason to relate to Iowa. Because if they do, that will mean they are completely without any purpose and for all intents and purposes, they are walking dead. And it’s going to be a hard life for them. 

Q: Was there one point in making Iowa where you knew you had it and what you wanted to get across?

Yes. I’ve had this song in my back pocket for a long time. At least 2 and a half years. It’s like a resignation letter. It was all just a matter of when I wanted to hand it into the boss..

Iowa is not the first draft of the resignation letter. There were a couple others if I’m remembering me correctly. But they weren’t Iowa. I remember thinking the word “Iowa” sounded like I owe ya. I do not want to have any regrets from this, other than doing it. I don’t want to regret not doing it. That would have been the worst thing imaginable. Many people do that. They don’t even try. I may have made mistakes. I may have passed over the wrong opportunity at some point. I don’t know. I tried to take every avenue possible, and I did take almost every opportunity put in front of me, with the exception of playlist scams and bot storage. I never touched that as there is clearly no point. But I ventured down every route put in front of me within reason. 

Q: The lyrics seem to reflect both peace and pain. How did you navigate that emotional complexity while writing?

I get asked this from time to time. Most of my music is laced with pain, loss, etc…you write what you know, I suppose. However, the tricky part isn’t necessarily the zig zag of peace and pain, hope and hopelessness. It is not glamorizing it. I try very hard to not do that. That is the very last thing I want. It is very easy for a potential listener to fall into that trap. 

I always write as if it will be picked apart and dissected by the entire world. In reality, it’s different. But I did always want to be responsible. Not to take a listeners interest, which is everything in the world, and put them in harms way. Artists have that power. I see them take that intrigue and completely capsize their boats. Land them in prison or worse. In my case it would be glorifying pain. I cannot do that. I couldn’t live with it. I always went out of my way to say, “hey, it really sucks. So please don’t burn your hand of the stove. I did that for you so you won’t have to. Hell, follow my example? That is the fastest way to a life alone. I make it a point to point that out. If I had listeners, I would want them to be happy. Live happy lives. Be the very best at what and who they are. Not nosedive in a depressive life with no way out. 

Q: The broader themes of your album-mostly Iowa, is it a centerpiece, or is it a chapter among others?

It’s a sleeper. It’s that song that was not the album flag, that was Beauty Burger. It’s the one that could have been. Some could argue it should have been. I would entertain that conversation. I believe Iowa would have made a fine flag. But Beauty Burger was the more livelier song. An album flag should basically represent the album. It’s the song people point to and say, “if the album is like this song, it should be a good album”. Iowa is not representative of the album as a whole. Beauty Burger is. Or at least is more than Iowa. That doesn’t mean it is better or anything. It just means that it fit that particular role better. Content wise, Iowa is more of a side note. Or a pause in the story. It’s me speaking to the audience or the listener. I had something I wanted to tell them. I thought a Well Devised Plan is the perfect place for it. That’s how all of this got started, for better or for worse. 

Q: What advice might you give to someone stuck in something they’ve deeply invested in, as in Iowa?

Invision yourself on your deathbed. You look back at your life. Ask yourself, do you regret doing something, or not doing something. It’s always better to regret doing something. That said, give it all you got…

Q: How was this different from other songs and the process of writing you’ve done?

Iowa is the only song I intentionally sabotaged. I wanted it to sound rough so I did what I could to do so. I actually took the vocal track and the piano and ran them through a nasty vocal filter on a Roland VT-4. It was perfect. It made it sound like it is being played in a tube or on an old record player. Again, if Iowa was crisp and if it was well engineered, it would not have fit. I wanted it to sound worn out and tattered. Because that is what I am now. I feel this business chewed me up by not chewing me up. It was a big nothing. A wild animal that doesn’t recognize the jungle. Iowa had to be piss pour. That’s the only song I ever intentionally made sound like dirt. 

Q: Do you feel this song helped you process some of the emotions that were wrapped up in its themes?

Oh absolutely. I mean every word of it. I hate music and I love music at the same time. I enjoy the feeling of hearing a song like Iowa for the first time and dreaming of it hitting. I hate the disappointment of trying everything and to have it fail. That will chew the soul like nothing else. I’ll look back more than I want to. I will. I’ve made these “keepsakes” for years down the road to help me remember what I did from August 2021 through to approx. December 2026. It was the greatest thing and the dumbest move I’ve ever put myself into. 

Q: Iowa deals with love and struggle. How do those themes finally play into your overall creativity?

I suppose that depends on what album is being discussed. Not that they’re entirely different. They’re not. With the exception of Socks Off (album 2) and War (album 6) they really weren’t meant to be. I wrote and recorded everything in a 3 and a half month window, which honestly, was plenty. I was highly motivated at that time. So with the ideas of love and struggle, both play a role, indeed. 2 years ago I never would have said this, but what the hell? Why not? Love is a character in the story and it is not the hero. It is very much the villain. If you think about it, every villain loves something or someone. Even the villain in the Aliens movie series has love. It just wants to kill people in order to lay eggs in them and have little aliens running around. So the alien was killing people in order to have kids and raise them. Love is often not your friend. Sure we all have love for something. Even if it is for life itself. What is a person willing to do in order to protect that which he or she thinks they love? The answer is “the unimaginable”. Depending on the situation in the song, struggle usually is accompanied with love, yes. But its not a struggle to love. It’s learning that love has caused so many dangers.

Q: What do you think about the way your listeners have responded to the ideas in Iowa? Has anything surprised you?

I haven’t heard any direct feedback yet outside of emojispeak in comments sections. I would be happy to hear them…

Q: Is there a specific lyric in Iowa that resonates with you the most? Why?

The last line. 

I won’t be back, so this is it for me…That is very permanent. I always had this to come back to. But now it just won’t be an option anymore. Even if I wanted to.

Q: How does writing the music help you get through the complexity of this walk away from something so loved?

It’s hard using music to walk away from music, but yeah. I suppose that is what happened. Iowa is something I’ll use to look back. I’ll play it in 2033 and it will make me tear up. I’ll look back at how I tried everything I could to get people just to stop for a second and listen. And if you like it, you are in for a real surprise. But it never happened. By 2033, Iowa to me will be a song from a long time ago buried in the void. Along with all the songs I spent so much of myself trying to give. 

Q: If there was one thing you could say you wished people took away from the song Iowa, what would that be?

Assuming they sat and listened? I would want them to know the guy they are listening to did his best to achieve his goal. But time ran out.